Where do I begin?  I’m still waiting to hear about the writing fellowship I applied for, which is an enormous source of anxiety at the moment.  It’s a great opportunity and I really want it.  I constantly check my email and their Facebook page, which rarely receives an update, and as I gnaw my bottom lip into oblivion and incur a few more gray hairs, I find it hard to concentrate and continue working.  A friend offered me words of encouragement and support in regards to my writing, and to keep looking forward to the next opportunity, but I would greatly appreciate a favorable outcome on this one.  Like most writers, I have a backstory filled with dysfunction and hardship, and there are only so many circles in Hell, so at some point the bottom has to curve back upwards, right?  Okay, my pity party is over.  Back to the topic at hand.  I don’t like limbo mode, and until I know one way or the other, I seem to have had the wind taken from my sails.  I know I’m putting too much stock into this one prospect, but after taking a few knocks this year, I’d like to remember 2013 as the year this amazing thing happened.  It is exactly for this reason I should pour myself into my work, yet here I am, trying to give myself a mental kick in the writing pants.  I should focus on my angst-y protagonist and get her into some butt-kicking scenarios.  That should relieve some stress…this is really just a journal entry, a reminder for my future self.  As writers we struggle.  I think it’s a rule or a genetic defect or a gypsy curse, that we must struggle (physically, emotionally, creatively) in order to be better artists.  And sometimes we just need to vent about it.

On a completely different note, when I returned from the long holiday weekend, I had over a dozen webpages open to read, with more deleted immediately and others bookmarked for future reading.  With the end of the year quickly approaching, numerous sources are offering their year end reviews, best of’s, items of noteworthiness, and ways to start off the new year, etc.  I thought I’d share The Writing Whisperer’s 50 Ways Writers Can Prepare For The New Year.  I think it’s important to set new goals each year (one of the things listed).  I was always terrible at keeping my New Year resolutions, until I was a little older and determined to change my ways.  I’ve mentioned how I put together my own Professional To Do List that includes over 20 items.  I attacked it with voracity initially, but have let a few things lapse (some are time sensitive, some require an investment) until the new year, when I come out of the gates charging.  I find that writing down your goals and posting them, rather than just mentally taking note, is more effective, since it’s staring at you (depending on where you stick it – mine is right beside my monitor, and it is always eyeballing me).  Simple changes, like buying a new journal or pen, taking a little time out to organize/purge your computer’s desktop, your actual desk, and your writing environment can make you feel better or possibly inspired, because who knows what you’ll find.  I’m a little OCD when it comes to being organized, so that’s not an issue, but I would like a new desk, maybe I’ll ask Santa for Christmas.

I hope your week is less stressful and more productive than mine.  I know I’m more productive at night, when my house is finally quiet, so I should take advantage and dispose of some of this angst.  Let’s see what comes of it.

Best of luck to you all!