Quote of the Week

Almost 7 years ago to the day, I shared this quote. This knowledge, to some degree, makes me sad.

7 years?!

A new goal?! A new dream?!

While I absolutely agree with this quote, I am reminded that I still haven’t reached said goal from 7 years ago.

Now, while I haven’t done everything in my power to achieve my dream of becoming a professional writer, the passage of time is a harsh reminder that I have wasted a lot of it. Call back to a previous post. The time does, honestly, fly, and it flies with even greater speed the older you get. I have been spouting words of positivity and chasing your dreams all this time and simultaneously been dragging my feet.

I finally took the next step I’ve been talking about to work with a screenwriting coach. Before I speak with her directly, she has asked me to fill out a questionnaire that will save time in the “getting to know you” phase. There are some questions that are making me come to terms with my journey as a writer.

I am a procrastinator.

This is not newsworthy. I’m well aware of this problem, and even though sometimes I think I’m doing better…BAM! I discover I’m not. Hi. 7 years.

I have fear.

I’ve discussed this a time or two. Fear of the unknown. Fear of success. Fear of actually getting the thing I want because then what do I do? That’s a bad joke. But the nervous energy of the potential/wish fulfilling change is real. So many of us are comfortable with the known mundane.

I need accountability.

Because I’ve had to rely on a day job in the interim, often times that schedule takes precedence over all else. Bills have to be paid. This is a sad part of reality for all creatives before they can work full time at their passion. Beyond the job we have families and a slew of responsibilities that usually push our creative outlets to the back burner. The unsatisfying nature of some of our day jobs leave us tired and emotionally drained. Also, there’s no one to answer to at this stage.

The only one I’m letting down at this point is me.

At a day job, there’s accountability. There’s a hierarchy. A dependency. It’s what I want from my writing, to be responsible for only that.

So why this quote, you may be wondering? Given the above. Because as I now officially take the step towards accountability with a career coach, swallowing my fear and putting procrastination in the corner, I have to remind myself that age is just a number and taking this goal seriously, finally, is worth the effort.

With age comes a shift in perspective, obviously not everyone benefits from experience (i.e. the current state of things), but I know my sense of humor has changed. I find all sorts of random things fascinating thanks to exposure, and all that has affected my writing. Sometimes I think, I’ve had to wait until now to become this writer because I wasn’t ready before.

The story I’m running with started out as a fluffy romance piece, and now it has depth. Without some life experience under my belt, it never would have become what it is today. I have to remind myself of some of the quotes I’ve shared over the years, one of them being:

Trust the timing of your life.

So, no matter your age, no matter the goal, attempt the thing and who knows…maybe you’ll surprise yourself.

Best of luck! xx, Rach

Year One in the PNW

A few years ago I saw this funny skit on Portlandia about how excited the patrons of the city got when the sun finally made itself known after months of gray skies.

I thought it was an exaggeration.

What I’ve learned after one year in the PNW – it was not.

from NightyBirdo

This is now my life.

I went from living in cities with incessant sun to one where it is non-existent for nearly half the year, so I have become that giddy person when I see golden light instead of shades of gray.

Ridiculous.

When people ask if I like it here, I say not really, but that’s not exactly being fair. When we arrived from our out-of-state move, it was pouring rain. Not the best welcome. But the summer was lovely, until the heat wave with no a/c. Having grown up in Las Vegas, I can do 120+ degrees, but air conditioning is everywhere so it’s oddly bearable. *LV native tip: No leather car seats.

I have been almost perpetually cold since we arrived here.

I know it’s something I have to adjust to…because I just wasn’t prepared. I do not have a rain coat or boots, but I do have an umbrella, that has never been opened, because apparently that’s a huge faux pas here.

The lack of outdoor accessibility has led to overweight dogs, and seasonal depression. Another thing I’ve learned is an actual thing.

To counter act these negatives, the people are truly nice here. The air smells clean. Nature will practically walk right up to you. For a little while in the summer, because of the northern placement, the sun stays up until 10pm which is awesome, but as you’ll recall from my note above, it disappears almost entirely during the winter as if to taunt, “I hope you enjoyed that…you’ll see it again next year!”

Washington’s nickname is the Evergreen State. This is accurate. There is an ever present layer of green on everything, and there are so. many. trees.

There is so much to do and see. There’s Mount Rainier (which you can see from all over the state), lavender fields, whale watching, vineyards, TV and movie locations, a cute Bavarian inspired town, tons of hikes and day trips, and water at every turn. There are chocolatiers and breweries, and cool eateries to try.

There’s also history here. Something I appreciate.

Some quirks: Everyone parks in backwards here. I’ve never seen so many “Student Driver” bumper stickers. It is surprisingly expensive to live here. For the entire month of May it appears as if it’s snowing from all the tree fluff in the air. The fog is like scary movie-cut it with a knife-fog. 50 degrees feels warm. For a girl from the desert, huh?! They love their Seahawks. So much so, the fans have their own designated player number, 12. There are always tree clearing crews cutting back foliage to circumvent power outages. I passed three the other day within a mile. And we appreciate it. We once went without power for nearly 15 hours. Not fun. You hear it rains a lot here. You have this unconscious awareness that it rains a lot here. It’s more than you can imagine.

Now we know we need sort of emergency situation essentials, for any season, and for both the car and home. It’s during these unexpected times that you evaluate the necessity of certain items, or even their relevancy, like I didn’t know I’d ever need a battery operated lamp that can also charge my phone. Hm.

We resigned our lease for another year, and plan on making the most of the sights to discover what makes this place so endearing. We’ve made it though the first year, and have a better understanding of what to expect, so crossing our fingers that year two will be a more enjoyable journey.

Have you ever moved where you thought you knew what to expect, but also discovered it was not what you were prepared for? I’d love to know I’m not alone in this surprising discovery.

Escapism or Research

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

We all remember during lockdown and the US presidential election, how so many of us struggled, while others flourished. There was an outpouring of creativity and community and I was in awe of what could be done when given the chance. I was not one of those people. I was in the first group.

I was not creative. I barely wrote. I couldn’t watch anything “heavy”; there were a lot of bad movies viewed. I developed anxiety.

It was a strange time.

It was the year that will go down in infamy – 2020.

We couldn’t wait for it to go away. So many of us looked to 2021 as a magic reset button.

It was not.

I was determined to make 2022 different. With the new year and new goals, I decided to stop wasting my TV viewing time on things I’ve watched a dozen times over. I would watch those “must see” movies and shows in my genre. I would read the books I “should have” read. I would read more screenplays because you know, that’s what I want to do in life.

I had a new perspective and I wanted to make an impact.

Then, when things felt like they might be getting better, ever so slightly, a megalomaniac chose that moment to make things that much worse.

It’s easy to use TV, movies, and video games as a means of escapism in a world turned on its side. It’s easy to rationalize it all as research when you’re a creative.

It’s a little column A, a little column B.

So, despite the current situation, I thought I’d share the 3 shows I’ve watched so far that I’ve enjoyed if you’re in need of a little escape (or research ๐Ÿ˜‰ ). They’re all available on Netflix.

  • Arcane – By far the best show I’ve watched in some time. The animation is beautiful, the characters are all intriguing, and the world is unique. Considering it took 6 years to make the first season, I’m guessing it will be a long wait for season 2, but it will be worth it.
  • The Witcher Season 2 – I am a big fan of the third installment in the video game series – I even wrote a review about it – so I was always going to watch the show. While season 1 was a little convoluted and hard to follow if you weren’t familiar with the material, they did a great job with the second season.
  • Shadow and Bone – This series kept being suggested to me, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had not read the books, or even heard of them beforehand. I have since read the first novel. Don’t waste your time, just watch the show. It’s a magical land, actually, they don’t call it magic, and there are some fun characters, and it was better than I thought it would be.

I’ve started a few other shows and if anything else resonates, I’ll be sure to pass it along.

Do you have any shows or movies to recommend? What shouldn’t be missed?

Happy Watching!

Throwback Thursday #2: The Lies We (I) Tell Ourselves (Myself)

Writer.

It’s what I tell people I am.

Most of the time it’s true.

Even in times of writing drought, when I was embarrassed by the day job, I told people I was a writer, as if that would somehow make up for, what I considered, my professional shortcomings.

I’m not just a food server, I’m a struggling artist.

I’ll never forget the time I used an elaborate word in front of a guest and them being surprised that I knew such a word and used it properly in context. How insulting.

Saying I’m a writer is almost like a hall pass. It takes time to make it, so floundering is all just a part of the journey. Working towards that goal for a number of years is expected, but I discovered I was lying. Pretending.

Disney’s Pinocchio

Not intentionally, of course. And really only to myself.

It was a way for me to justify taking another dead end job because a “real” job would be all-consuming and take away from what I really wanted to do. It was a way to excuse the life I had found myself in. It was a way for my friends to think me brave for following my dreams after all these years.

I didn’t want it bad enough. I thought it would be easier. The story is not quite right…yet.

Those are simple lies I could tell myself, in hindsight, as to why “it” hasn’t happened yet, but they’re simply not true.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. It seems I’ve only ever gotten in my own way.

Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s laziness.

Showing up for a dream is hard.

I was searching through old posts for today’s subject matter and came across so many instances of me saying I was going to “do things different this year”. I was going to try a new strategy. Set new goals. Make my mark.

It all led to this.

I’ve had this blog for 8 years now. I can count on one hand the number of times I did something different in attempt to propel my career forward. I write about staying positive, reaching for your dreams, slaying your goals and rewarding yourself for achieving them because I wanted to create a space in which I could inspire others, as well as track my progress.

Progress…ha!

Finding myself regurgitating the same words all these years later…well, let’s just say it was rather eye opening.

If my actions are any indication as to who I am, I am mostly not a writer. But it is who I want to be.

I have wasted years not writing, but I’ve never not said I wasn’t a writer. It’s a big lie I’ve told myself, and one I will not continue to perpetuate.

One of my goals for this year was to discover what aspect of my writing to work on. I thought it might be structure or pacing.

Goodness. What sort of Pandora’s box did I open?!

Apparently, my problem is follow through. I could write all day, every day, but without an actual endgame, there is nothing to propel me forward to making writing all day, every day a reality. A contest deadline isn’t enough. There has to be more. More action. More steps forward. More accountability. More solid, actual progress.

I’ve been on a mission for months now, after that lightbulb moment, and I am proud to report that I’ve finished one story, rewritten two screenplays, and am nearly halfway through writing a new one. But now it’s time to do something about it.

This post (may) hint at my self-loathing for my ability to so long not go after my dream, despite all the quotes to the contrary, but it is the kick in the pants I need to get myself off this merry-go-round. Why would you want to keep reading about my journey if I don’t have one?

I want to throw my fist in the air and say “That all changes today!”, but it physically can’t, there are steps that have to be taken, but I am taking a first step in that direction soon.

A story for another day.

What lies have you told yourself that are keeping you from achieving what you want? Let’s help one another move passed them!

xx, Rach

Quote Monday

by Quotes.pub

I like to share a bit of inspiration at the beginning of the week, but for me and some of you who work a non-traditional work week, it’s like my Thursday.

I suppose the inspiration helps to get me to my weekend, when I can finally decompress and be productive in the ways that truly matter.

This week’s quote is to help us writers with our confidence. Something I know I struggle with. We’re a strange breed. We spend hours beyond counting in solitude, consumed by self-doubt and without any encouragement for years, and then, at some point, are forced to pull a 180 in order to face the world in an effort to become “professional”.

And people wonder why so many writers are unstable. ๐Ÿ˜‰

We already have to be so many different people for our art – the writer, the editor, the audience, the hero, the villain – and then we have to alter ourselves to make it happen by being confident.

Okay.

It’s easy to be confident while I write. I take on the persona of my characters, the ones who are willing to do anything to achieve their goals, who go on big adventures, and do great things. I put myself in their shoes and walk into rooms as if I own them.

In the real world, not so much.

It’s hard to be confident when we’re unsure of the outcome. When we’re new. When we’re in a room with people higher on the ladder with much more sway. Or all the sway. But this is not so much about the physicality of the situation, but instead about shifting our mentality.

We have to be secure in what we’ve done and what we’re ready to put out in the world.

Easier said than done, I know.

Like any new skill, it takes time and practice aka patience.

One way I think of obtaining said “confidence” is knowing what we want for ourselves – our measure of success.

What needs to happen for you to count yourself as successful? There will always be disappointments, but what will give you satisfaction?

I’ve long dreamt of winning an Oscar. I mean, c’mon. How cool would that be? But does the possibility of never winning one diminish my drive? Nope. It’s a big reach, and a political gambit, apparently, so I don’t place my measure of success on having that gold statuette on my mantle. But I do have my dress picked out, just in case. Think of this, Stephen Hawking never won a Nobel, so…you know, perspective.

I also believe that as we continue to meet and exceed our goals, that helps to build our confidence as well. So as we look forward to a new year and the associated objectives we wish to accomplish, tackle those small tasks that lead to bigger ones (and then tackle those too) and reward yourself each step of the way.

Be brave, my fellow writers. Be confident. And Happy Writing!

The Other Side of Goal Setting

As another year draws to its inevitable end, it’s hard not to reflect on the goals I set for myself and how I fared. Where did I succeed? Where do I need improvement?

As many of you are now aware, The Sis and I had a rough start to the year. That chipped away at a big chunk of productivity overall. Months were lost, and when I realized how soon 2021 would be gone, I was stricken with a sense of scrambling to make my year end goals. This led to exhaustion, and a bit of depression.

The last month or so I have felt little motivation, in any regard. It probably doesn’t help that I haven’t seen the sun in weeks either. How can the sun just not exist here?! It’s too cold. It’s too gray. *Side note, I had a Facebook reminder today that 8 years ago I was basking in 81 degree weather and was rubbing it in the faces of my East coast friends. Today I’m avoiding the fact that I’m now in 14 degrees and my car is buried in the snow.

The day job is mind numbing, and I’ve already said enough on the topic. It won’t change until I make a change, so that one is on me, but compounded with the above, I’m feeling the effects.

I think I also may have been too over-reaching this year in my goal setting. With the big move, a sick pup, and the two above-mentioned downsides, it has been harder than usual to stay the course, so I should have reconfigured the list sooner so as to not feel this disappointed by not being able to mark my goals as “complete”.

So this is where we come to the moral of the story. When determining your goals for the new year, be reasonable, and a little lofty in your aspirations. The “resolutions” are meant to be inspiration, something to strive for. While some of them may feel out of reach or grandiose, the point of making a goal a goal is so we have a measuring stick for our accomplishments. They shouldn’t make us feel bad about ourselves. They should offer us something to work towards; to help us gauge each step in our progress, and that falling short doesn’t mean we’ve failed because at least we were willing to try (and are possibly continuing to do so).

This is something I’ve had to remind myself of, and why this week’s quote struck me.

I allowed my inability to accomplish all my goals affect my feelings of self worth. I have let a number of years slide without a second thought as to my aspirations, but this year was different. When I had that lightbulb moment about my writing, that newfound desire to follow my dreams resonated so deeply within me, that I think the thought that I couldn’t accomplish a few simple tasks hit me harder. “If I couldn’t finish a movie watching goal, what makes me think I can be a professional writer?” Those two things do not have any bearing on the other, and it was an easy spiral to find myself in as a way of discouraging my progress.

So be kind to yourselves. Set goals, but understand they may take longer than the time we set for ourselves. Celebrate the small steps or accomplishments toward a greater goal. Find people who will continue to encourage you. If you can make changes to the things that are inhibiting you, be brave. And Good Luck!

Here’s to a new year of new goals and to crushing them!

xx, Rach

Happy Birthday, Jane!

Since I first discovered the works of Jane Austen, I have felt a kinship with her, as all Janeites do. I had just returned from a trip abroad, where I had felt that sensation of going home when I saw England for the first time, and the film Sense and Sensibility was coming to theaters. I am not being dramatic when I say it changed my life.

I empathized most with Eleanor, the elder sister, who like me, had to keep the family together after a dramatic event. The Dashwood girls lose their father, leaving them, and their mother, fairly destitute. Our family returned home from the trip to learn my stepfather had been having an affair, and when things fell apart, I took care of my younger siblings.

While I have great love for Pride and Prejudice, it is Sense and Sensibility that still resonates with me most. I, of course, have lost count of how many times I’ve watched it at this point. I used to watch it whenever I felt the least bit sad, or was hormonal, or just needed my Austen fix. Goodness. That could mean it’s upwards of a few hundred viewings. ((insert surprised face emoji))

From that point on, I watched every film based on her work I could get my hands on. I bought her books. I researched the time period, which in turn began to filter into my own writing. I have a screenplay set in her time period in Bath, where she spent a great deal of time.

While writing that screenplay I made an intriguing discovery. The time periods I am most fascinated by are all separated by 200 years, roughly – the Victorian era, the time of Queen Elizabeth I’s reign, Medieval times – and Jane and I were born 200 years apart. I was born in 1975, she in 1775. It was a strange sort of mind bending feeling when I realized this, so the protagonist in that script has a connection to a certain number, which I explore.

When people jokingly ask, “Who is your spirit animal?”, my answer is Jane Austen. I just get her. I mean read some of her quotes:

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.

The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it.

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.

Jane Austen

It’s like she’s reading my mind.

So Happy Birthday, Jane! Your life may have been short, but you made a big impact. Not only have you given me something to strive for, delighting and entertaining readers/viewers for centuries, you also remind us to take advantage of the time given to us, to not settle, and to follow our dreams.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Some time ago, around the cusp of the new year, I thought I would write “thank you” messages to all those who have inspired me in some way – an author whose book affected me, an artist whose work moves me, a yoga instructor who is the reason I enjoy the practice. It became one of the yearly goals I set for myself because who wouldn’t appreciate a shout out in appreciation of their hard work? Sometime throughout the year, the thought that I should write them in November came to me because that is when people are “thankful”.

Then November came, and I thought, maybe like the 12 Days of Christmas, I could do the 12 Days of Thanksgiving.

Then that window also closed.

I struggle to find enough time to work on my screenplays at any length, so the grand plan of writing some 30 thank you notes became a rather daunting prospect. Shortening it to 12 seemed more manageable, and yet… This is in no way meant to diminish the importance of any of those I was considering. In fact, as I write this, I’m thinking, “I have 37 days until the end of the year to accomplish this task, and I do thrive under pressure.” ((insert eye roll here))

So let’s strike one off the list: I am thankful for all of You!

You keep me coming back to this space, to stay positive, and to continue striving towards my goals, which in turn I send back to you. It’s a wonderful symbiotic thing we have happening here. ๐Ÿ˜‰ You support my geeky obsessions, you share words of encouragement, and are an amazing circle of creatives to be a part of, so…

Thank you!

For helping me be the best version of myself.

Happy Thanksgiving! xx, Rach

Quote of the Week

I had this video of Tom Hiddleston’s “greatest life advice” saved on YouTube and finally gave it a watch this morning. The title was catchy, but let’s be honest, I was watching it for him. But then the video barely showed him, although it did let me listen to him. I feel like some second place prize analogy is relevant here. As he spoke, this was the line that struck me the most because I realized this was the lightbulb moment I had a couple of months ago verbalized by this delightful man.

About two weeks ago, I literally uttered the phrase, “Youth is wasted on the young.” Gracious. I still roll my eyes in retrospect, but I’ve discovered it’s true. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I felt like I had time. Even a few months ago I was still in that deluded mindset.

I think I might be having a mid-life crisis.

Living with The Sis all these years has kept me young. Not only does she support my passions, she encourages them, and vice versa. I’m lucky in that, but maybe, to some degree, that has added to the delusion. I don’t really feel my age, except in the mornings now when my joints crackle as I arise from bed, or when I have caffeine later in the day and it keeps me up, or when I have one more cocktail and feel crappy the next morning because I don’t bounce back like I used to. Yeah, I definitely feel my age in those moments. But it’s when you don’t feel the weight, the burden of time passing, the pressure to pursue your goal with some tenacity lessens.

I’ve always said I was a late bloomer, so here I am, finally…come to the conclusion that time is finite.

Whatever it is you want to do, do it. There will never be the perfect time, and waiting for it won’t help you get any closer to that goal. Obviously if there are some restrictions, financial or the like, the pursuit may be slowed, but there are a number of other things you can do in the meantime. As writers, we can write, but if for some reason that’s not working at the moment we can continue to learn. We can read, we can find a class, join a writer’s group, or watch videos with professionals discussing the craft. If it’s some other pursuit, creative or otherwise, there are starting points for all of them.

One life.

This conclusion is something we all come to in our own time. I’m not trying to force my own revelation upon you, it’s just that I wish my youthful arrogance had not caused me to brush off those pearls of wisdom from my elders, you know the ones – how time flies and how youth is wasted on the young – those are actual life lessons, ones you only come to on the other side, and they’re ones I wish to give you honest insight into in the hopes that you will reflect and decide how you want to pursue your own goals.

There are so many things I want to do, and have put off under the guise that “I’ll do them later”, but am now realizing I might not ever get the opportunity to. Another wasted pearl that I am now learning the truth of, “In the end you only regret the things you didn’t do.”

For Tom Hiddleston, he learned early on that his approach to becoming a professional actor wasn’t working for him, and so he changed his perspective and then pursued his goal relentlessly (and could he be a better example?). I wish that for all of us. Sooner than later. So that we can enjoy the fruits of our labor. ๐Ÿ˜‰

If you want to listen to how Hiddles inspired me today, here’s the link.

Happy Writing!

Need a Laugh?

Or just want to nod your head in agreement?

I’ve come across these ecards before. In fact, I’ve saved a number of them on Pinterest, but this one was new and made me chuckle, for how many times did I believe I would remember an idea later?

I now keep paper and pens all over the house, in my purse, and car. I use the note app on my phone for the middle of the night or when I’m at work. If I’m in the car and can’t write something down, I repeat it over and over in my head until I come to a stop. I’ve learned my lesson by letting too many thoughts get away.

How many times have you told yourself this lie? ๐Ÿ˜‰ And do you have any tips on how to avoid this to share?

Happy Writing!