I’m just going to leave this here.
I finished reading a published novel yesterday written by a NYT bestselling author that, in all honesty, sort of pissed me off in its poorly written mediocrity. While I’ve struggled to write, not only because of the state of things, but also because The Sis and I are planning a move (which has been temporarily put on hold due to the state of things), one of the positives to come out of reading such a thing is the inspiration it instilled in me to get back to writing my own stories.
I have felt tired lately. Without something to be excited about, i.e. my writing, I don’t feel a sense of purpose, hence the boredom equates to fatigue. The Sis even mentioned it, so it’s noticeable.
So join me in finding some joy today! Let’s create something that stirs the imagination and reminds us what we’re passionate about!
Hi everyone! It’s been a while.
I hope you and your loved ones are well.
I have started a number of posts over the last month and have deleted each one. I haven’t had anything to say because sharing quotes about following your dreams, or tips about writing, or what I’ve watched all seem rather trite given the circumstances.
I give my fellow bloggers props for being able to continue in light of everything.
But then I thought, at some point, we’ll get past this pandemic and some sort of new normal will begin, and so I should probably come out of the shadows. Staying positive during these strange times has been a running theme from a lot of what I’ve seen, and the creative, funny, inspiring sides of humanity have prevailed, mostly – there is always, of course, a flip side – but I like to be positive too.
Sometimes that’s difficult.
I have long struggled with my writing. Blogging too, obviously. While my writing should be an escape from the real world, and it’s what I want to do in life, there are too many times when my writing has taken a back seat. I have discovered that I often feel guilty for wanting to write when there are other pressing matters, like planning a move out of state (or abroad) or starting an Etsy shop to alleviate some our burden and aid in the move.
For the last few months I couldn’t turn my mind to writing as it felt like a reward I didn’t deserve.
I willingly quit my job late last year. I was deeply dissatisfied, and because our move was to take place only a couple of months later, I didn’t seek out another one. My plan was to organize the house, sell or donate what I could, and get us ready for the next move. I think not having a job, made me feel like I needed to overcompensate in the other areas of my life so that I didn’t seem like I was taking advantage of the situation. For the first couple of months, I didn’t even take a “day off”.
Then the virus happened.
Not much happened to me, personally, to change my day to day but because I was already in this particular mindset, the extra time so many people were given started a trend that I found sort of infuriating. You may have seen them, they said things like this:
If you don’t find the time to write now, you’re not really a writer.
People are already struggling enough with a myriad of issues, and then to throw this into the mix, to make one feel defeated…argh. Thankfully, wiser people countered with responses like the “boat” analogy.
We are sailing in the same storm, but not in the same boat.
*If you’d like to read the whole thing, let me know and I’ll post it in the comments.
Eventually, with the move decided upon, the Etsy shop open, and enough organizational projects completed, I finally felt like I had “permission” to write.
Permission to create…permission to follow my dream…sigh. And I have. Not everyday, but more than I have in months.
And it’s not like I wasn’t thinking about writing all this time. I’ve been reading, watching the MasterClass series, I’ve been keeping my journal, and I’ve had story ideas. So while the physical act of writing may not be happening consistently, the other aspects of a writer’s life are, and with that understanding, I’ve stopped being so hard on myself.
Do you know how hard it is to ignore that nagging “you should be writing” feeling?! You can only do it for so long before it drives you mad.
Writers are so hard on themselves.
When I came to this realization, I figured there may be others who feel the same way, and maybe need to hear this too.
Hi! You’re not alone!
So whether you’re writing everyday, or just thinking about it, cut yourself a little slack. As writers, we’ve already chosen a lonely, difficult path, and we have to remember to be kind to ourselves. There are plenty of other people, always at the ready, to knock us down. Ourselves included. Compound this with a global pandemic, and the need for some positivity, something I enjoy, is needed more than ever!
So here’s one of my Quote Mondays from the past.
If you need support, in any way, please let me know and let’s stick together!
Happy New Year, friends!
Can you believe it? Not only has another year ended, but we’re now in a new decade. I’m still of the mindset that the 90s were the last decade because to think otherwise is just ridiculous. How could it be, now, 20+ years ago?!
I tend to bring in the new year doing the one thing I hope to be doing the rest of it, writing, but I’ll come clean, I haven’t been able to write since quitting my job. I, instead chose to spend it with one of my favorite people, Jane Austen. I completed my “One New Movie-a-Week” Challenge last week with Rise of the Skywalker, but I thought it might be a nice motivator to watch a movie, a world I want to be a part of, instead. I had not seen the film Love and Friendship, based on the novella, Lady Susan, and while I’ll have more to say on it in my next post about my movie challenge, it got me thinking about my own writing. So at least there’s that.
I nearly finished my Goodreads reading challenge of 12 books, a despicably low number, I know. I kept seeing these posts that if you want to be a writer and don’t make the time to read you can’t really be a writer. I was a much better reader a few years ago when my schedule permitted me to do things in a particular order. Now, I’m trying to implement that old schedule into my new daily routine. When I realized the end of the year was nigh and I wasn’t going to make my goal, I had to reevaluate a few things.
In that reevaluation was the thought that maybe I had set myself up for failure by expecting too much of myself throughout the year. I already knew the job was not allowing me to accomplish much, so achieving some of those goals was always going to be difficult, if not impossible. While I did complete a few of the tasks I had set out to do, like attending my first screenwriter’s conference, others, like the reading challenge, fell by the wayside. How could I possibly expect so much when days, weeks, and even months passed without a glance towards my passions?
I have to look at this year’s goal setting a bit differently. Remember, I don’t like resolutions, and I don’t think January 1st is a magic reset button, but it is an unavoidable marker for moving forward and starting anew. The outside world has dates and seasons for meeting goals, and a new year puts much of that into perspective. But there are things that I continue to carry over each year that I want to do that, while time consuming, are still worthy goals to pursue. It’s just going to take some patience and clever maneuvering, and not be at the forefront while more pressing matters are attended to.
What do you want to accomplish this year? How will you set out to ensure you reach that goal?
Here’s one of my favorite goal setting images for inspiration. Now let’s go crush 2020!
Everyone’s posting year end reviews and goal updates, and even as I, myself, am doing some reflection, if you’ve followed me for a while, you know I don’t like resolutions, one can’t help but look back on what’s been accomplished in the course of a year. It’s also the end of a decade, so there’s even more to think on.
While the beginning of a new year is a great jumping off point, you can start something new or achieve a goal at any time.
I’m sure I’ve used this quote before, but as The Sis and I begin to prepare for a new journey, this quote seemed rather apropos.
Quote Mondays are back!
My days of slack are over. My two-week self-imposed vacation must come to an end and the reason for said vacation must begin – following my dream. Mondays are a great day to start a new thing.
So let my future commence today!
What do you want to accomplish today?
Goodness. Where to begin…
When I was last here, I was in a slump. I’m just now seeing my way out of it. I attended the Austin Film Festival the following morning and had one of the best experiences of my life. I’ll do a special post on my time there, this is just to remember what’s happened since.
On my second night in Austin, after meeting some wonderfully welcoming people and attending panels that inspired, I had an epiphany. The environment I was subjected to in my day job was not where I wanted to be. It had not only become a hinderance to my dream job, I hadn’t written in a very long time, it was also emotionally stunting and draining. This maybe, probably, most definitely, added to my funk. I nearly wrote my resignation letter right then and there.
I had been contemplating the idea for a while. Since February, actually. Some of you may remember my rant about, what I will refer to as, “the incident”. It was the beginning of the downward spiral when I realized so many things about a place I had put a great deal of time and energy into. But I decided to suck it up and figured I could make it work, knowing that in a year our lease would be up (The Sis and I had already decided we weren’t going to renew again), and I could hang in there a year more, right?!
The answer, which grew in intensity, was a resounding no.
It all became clear, and so upon my return to reality, I finally took the leap and quit my day job to pursue my dream. It’s been about two weeks, so after a reset, I’m ready to move forward.
In the midst of this new path, The Sis and I have begun the Whole30. This requires a post of its own as well. Needless to say, we’re feeling better, have more energy (most days), have already lost a bit of weight, and are experimenting with new recipes. We had sort of been in a food rut too. We had planned a trip to Disneyland for the holidays, but the thought of not having a churro or a candy apple, or dare I say a cocktail because of the offerings of adult beverages at California Adventure, were not the things either of us wanted to shy away from.
Then there was the definitive decision to move out of state. So now the unloading of all the unnecessary items has begun. There’s the sorting of all our belongings, the consolidation, the research, the stress. There’s also excitement at the prospect. Ah, the new and unknown.
And finally, let me touch upon the fact that now I can write. Have I? Other than this post, sadly no, not yet, but I have been thinking a lot about the rewrites I have to do and some new story ideas, so there’s that. The Whole30 takes up a lot of time and the move has shifted my focus, temporarily, because there are only so many hours in the day, but in the back of my mind, things are happening. I’m making some changes to the routine I’m so fond of and how I want to approach my career.
I’ve read a number of articles on time management and many offer similar techniques so I plan on incorporating some of them in the hopes I will be more productive and be able to use this time I’ve been
given taken to its fullest. If any of them show promise, I’ll be sure to share.
If any of you have chosen the “follow your dreams” path, I’d love to hear how you handle that while trying to handle everything else.
I’ve been quiet…for a while. Initially it was because I was focused on my work. My real work. I’m still disconnected from the day job since the incident back in February, so at least there’s that. It still takes up a lot of time and energy, just the same. But then a series of mental hits soon followed and I lost my mojo. I’m second guessing myself. I don’t write, even when I want to. I don’t know how to fix some of my story issues, I’m feeling depressed, and I’m just not writing.
I leave for the Austin Film Festival in the wee hours of the morning and I had this huge laid out plan for how I was going to be prepared for it. I was excited and ready to take on the challenge, and then, in the blink of an eye, the passion disappeared. No matter how many quotes about being positive and goal oriented, fearless and creative I read or post, nothing is cracking this current mood.
Yes, yes, I know that failure is a part of the process, but I feel like I’ve been struggling for a long time, when I know, in reality, with all the spurts of inactivity, it’s only been a few years that I’ve been actively pursuing a career. This year’s screenwriting competition season offered me nothing. With only one more competition awaiting announcement, I sort of feel like… I wasted a lot of money. I love the story I submitted, and it’s not to say that someone else won’t feel the same way I do about it in the future, but the lack of upward mobility was less than encouraging.
I don’t know why I want to rant about this. I’m guessing that sometimes we all feel like this, and maybe it would be helpful for other struggling writers to realize they’re not alone. We all hit walls along this creative path, but if it’s truly what we want to do, then I guess, after some moping, we’ll get off our asses and get back to it.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Because I only have tonight to shift this mentality and take advantage of this huge step I’m taking. And even though it may not sound like I’m excited, I am, deep down, and I’m sure everything will change once I board that plane and the realization hits of what it is I’m going to do.
I’m going to my first screenwriter’s conference!
I plan to discuss the conference day by day and hopefully impart some of the wisdom and helpful tips I learn. I’m hoping to get my mojo back, be inspired, and feel empowered, as well as make some writer friends who understand this journey.
So before that happens, what do you do when you hit a writer’s slump?
Last week I wrote an entire blog post after learning that my pilot had not advanced in the second contest I had entered. I was sad and the overall tone was not the happy-stay positive-reach for your dreams-vibe I try to maintain here.
So I didn’t post it.
Rejection, in any form, is tough to take. People say all sorts of things to put a positive spin on the situation, but when it comes down to it, rejection plain ol’ sucks.
I was already struggling with the third act of one screenplay, and I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to get everything in order for the conference in October, so this news struck a blow. I was down for the rest of the day. But that’s part of the process. You take the hit, get back up, and show ’em.
It’s hard when so much is in our hands as writers, and so much that isn’t.
It’s not like I didn’t know this going in, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating. The whisper of doubt that sneaks its way in about the possibility that no one will ever like what I write and I never become a professional screenwriter grows louder with each rejection, but then I think of the people that were once just like me.
Every writer ever.
So no, I’m not giving up. On the contrary. I’m just getting started. So here is the “stay positive-reach for your dreams” tip of the day:
Wear that rejection like a badge of honor because at least it shows that your striving towards your goals. How many people do you know that are unwilling to even try?
Good Luck and Happy Writing!
I’ve found that I haven’t had much to say lately. I’m not sure exactly why. In part it could be because the last couple of months have been sort of strange. Since that incident at work back in February, I’m happy to report that my shift in focus has remained. It is weird there though. I’m more focused on the job I actually want, even though the progress is slow sometimes, I am still moving forward.
I’ve been better about reading, which somehow eluded me last year, and I’ve maintained my one-movie-a-week routine (although I did see the Avengers twice, so I’m one movie shy of my goal as I write this). I’ve rewritten two acts of one of my screenplays, I entered my TV pilot into 7 contests, I’ve come up with a new screenplay idea that I’m excited about (let’s just add that to the backlog of ideas currently nestled in the recesses), and I bought my airline ticket and badge for the Austin Film Festival screenwriters conference. So…yay!
Not that long ago, we had been broke, The Sis and I. Not so broke that I was worried we might end up homeless, because we always made sure we paid rent, but poor enough that there were a few times we used a credit card to buy groceries and pay bills. Not a great place to find one’s self. Now, I’m in a position to attend a writers conference, one of my goals, and I’m nervous and delighted.
Having this external goal compels me to get my writer’s portfolio in order. There is no way I’m going to squander this opportunity. It’s one thing to submit to contests, it’s another to hopefully meet and mingle with people who could actually propel my career forward, and so I have to get my sh*t in order. No more messing around. No more excuses. If I’m going to spend this big shiny penny, I have to make the most of it.
It also helps to keep striving when you receive feedback like this from a contest you entered:
“Vivid world building and unique characters set a great foundation for the series. The dialogue between the characters is distinctive and introduces creative dialects and words that the sci-fi audience will love.”
Thank you, Slamdance!
So I’m committing to this page my goals for the next 17 weeks:
- Have 3 full length features show ready
- Have my Pilot’s Bible ready
- Flesh out at least 3 like-genre scripts
- Flesh out 1 out of genre script (will save this to the end 😛 )
Whew. I’m at some stage of progress on each goal, but there’s still plenty to do, so I better get cracking.
How are you moving towards your goals? Please share your small steps and let’s celebrate them together! Also, are you planning on attending AFF? It would be great to meet a familiar “face”. 😉