I didn’t get the fellowship.  I’m a mixture of disappointment and mild relief at the knowledge that now I can move on.  The waiting game was growing tiresome.  I had other things to keep me occupied, but the continuous wondering and worrying whether or not I was moving forward was becoming a burden (if you can believe).  So after a few tears, I’ve decided not to wallow (too much) by shrugging off the rejection and pouring myself into my work.  This is one of the unfortunate sides of the business I’ve decided to take part in — rejection — a lot of rejection.  I have to keep telling myself that this is only the beginning.  I’ve only just begun to send out my work, but it was not for me alone I wanted this opportunity.  *I need to make note of this, for my future self.  Since moving to LA, I’ve struggled to find steady work, a “day job”.  My younger sister has been supporting us and that in itself is an enormous burden.  Her job is unsatisfying, and she is left to shoulder great responsibility while I try to achieve my goals.  Since the fellowship offered so many benefits for a new writer, including financial support, I thought (perhaps foolishly) that I could relieve some of the pressure.  So here I am again…square one.

And then the thought dawned on me, “I am not alone in my struggles today”.  So in an effort to be optimistic in order to move forward, I’m going to post a few uplifting quotes from LiveLifeHappy.com.

Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some type of struggle.

Don’t rush anything.  When the time is right, it’ll happen.

If you never go after what you want, you’ll never have it.  Live without regrets.  If you want it, fight for it.

Wait for what you deserve.  Don’t settle, just be patient.

Don’t let something tear you down.  Allow it to help you move on to something better.

There’s always something good coming.  Remember that.

Sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right.

I wish each of you success in whatever you are hoping to achieve!  And know you are not alone in your daily struggles.  There is an entire creative network, hopefully, cheering you on and supporting you.  If you don’t have a support system, like a writer’s group, make that one of your “to do’s” for the new year.  As I’ve stated, and you’re well aware, writing is a lonely business.  Finding others like us is instrumental in making our solitary lives more bearable.

If anyone would like to offer some words of advice and encouragement, not just to me, please feel free to share.

Best of luck to you all!