The last couple of weeks, the impending doom surrounding my birthday has caused random outbursts of emotion. I’ve had some bad birthdays, but this one is different. I was in a home store, looking at the various items that could be useful in the new place; new towels, area rugs, side tables, etc. when I started to well up. It’s frustrating to feel sort of stuck; always hoping and striving for more. I keep banking on this elusive future that I can’t wait to happen, and yet with each passing day I don’t feel any closer. I got a job I was hoping would be something I could be proud of in the meantime, I’m writing every day, but we write rubbish and I don’t even make enough money to make it worthwhile.
So as I stared at the cute side table, thinking that I should be able to walk into a store and just buy something like that once in a while, I was reminded of my circumstances and that with the looming age I should be in a different place. So my eyes filled and I started the self-loathing.
I’m just not satisfied with my life. Being an artist is a difficult path, and as positive as I try to remain, sometimes life just smacks you in the face. I’m usually the first to say, “age is just a number”, but this birthday now puts me in a new box. You know the box. I’m officially in a new one next week.
I found these quotes, that made me feel a little better, and thought I’d share them for if you’re ever feeling low.
“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” – C.S. Lewis
“In my dreams, I never have an age.” – Madeleine L’Engle
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
I hope you all have a wonderful week! And if you have any words of wisdom, please share! 🙂