Tell the Universe What You Want

LokiSaysIShouldBeWritingWriters are by far the hardest-on-themselves group of people I’ve had the privilege of knowing, myself included.  We expect so much out of ourselves, especially in regards to our work.  Not only do we struggle to create (and are we ever truly happy?), we also criticize ourselves for not writing enough, we suffer from a plethora of fears; rejection, the blank page, another rewrite, completion, even success, and then we must endure at least a hundred plus other steps in order to succeed as professional writers.  There are dozens of avenues to explore, and we try them all in the hopes of finding the right one.  And people wonder why we’re “special”…or have the audacity to think it’s easy and that everyone can do it, or that all we do is daydream…these and other ideas like them fall into the realm of “writer’s pet peeves”.

So back to the topic at hand, the recent opportunity I was thinking about and mentioned on Monday – volunteering at the Los Angeles Film Festival by Film Independent.  They also put on the Independent Spirit Awards, so I thought it might be a great way to meet people and network, but when you’re a volunteer, you’re not really allowed to do that.  And then a few things popped up and made it a near impossibility to work the event at all, so I’m striking it off the list and moving forward…but to where?  I was discovering quickly that this year was going to pass me by without any real progress.  That was a devastating realization.

I believe that when you voice your desires aloud, that’s when things start happening.  Obviously we still have to work at it, but making the bold declaration, writing down our goals, and putting them out into the universe help to solidify them in our mind.  They aren’t just these dreams we have, but fully realized goals we can move forward to achieve.  What I needed was a new plan.  Great.  Something else to divert my attention from writing.

So the following night when I was talking to my sister’s boss and she asked what she could do to help me with my career, I told her.  I put it out there.  She and her husband both work with and know lots of people that could help me (including some of the biggest names that would pretty much make me pee my pants if I found myself in the same room with them), but in my mind I had drawn a line.  They are my sister’s bosses and therefore should almost be off limits, that is, unless they offer.  Growing up, we were instilled with this idea of doing things on our own, not relying on others, and making our own way (which I clearly can not do as a screenwriter).  Call it pride or stubbornness or stupidity (which is what my sister’s boss called it), but I got a very quick lesson in asking those who are capable and willing for help.  Bottom line is I’m meeting with them in the next few weeks in order to advance my career.

So I will now voice my desires; my next goal – have my portfolio ready when I meet with those who have offered me help.  Oh, gracious universe, please be kind and let the words flow from my mind to my fingertips without much stumbling.  Please allow my mind to grasp all the elements I need in order to finalize my rewrite…*fingers crossed.  A little forewarning, I may be a little absent as a result, because I have quite a bit of work ahead of me.

So go on, tell the universe what it is you want.  Good Luck!

*And by now you should know, if I can, I will include a picture of either Tom Hiddleston or Benedict Cumberbatch.  So you’ll always have that to look forward to. 😉

What I Learned During My Day At The Zoo

CharacterStreetSignThe zoo.  Harmless enough of an outing…a complete lesson in character.  I always wanted kids, but the older I get the less I do, and during this outing I felt my ovaries dry up.

So first off, let me say this, I know parenting is difficult, and this is not meant to be an essay on child rearing, but I have to get this off my chest.  I was surprised to find numerous children screaming at animals, pounding on the glass partitions, and throwing things into the enclosures at the animals (there are even signs posted of things not to do because this is clearly an issue), and parents or supervising adults taking long periods of time to notice or say anything at all.  When I heard children talk back to not only their parents and teachers but to strangers, I cringed.  There was no instruction given, at least at the time, as to why that behavior might be unacceptable.  There was no insight given that if you were in the wild and did that to these creatures, they would eat your face.  But, then I would notice other children standing in awe of the animals, waving at other kids, being helpful, or staring aghast at those misbehaving, and think, well, all is not lost.

As there was a great cross-section of society gathered that day, it was not only a lesson in character, but society and expectations, and the differences between cultures, and it got me thinking.  Not only did I think about character, but also a story idea that the humans walking around were actually the exhibit with the animals watching them.  I could only imagine what they were thinking.

As writers, we usually pay attention to the things around us more than most in order to store it all away to use later in our writing.  Whether our characters fall into the categories of good or bad, hero, anti-hero, rogue, or villain, we want them to be, and they must be likeable.  And I don’t mean we’d want to be friends with them exactly, but there must be something about them we love to hate, or hate to love, something that draws us in.  I’ve talked about this before, those characters that are compelling to watch; the Lokis, the Sherlocks, and the Hannibals – responsible for a little chaos but we love them anyway.  The facets that make up an interesting character are never prevalent in one person we actually know.  They are amalgamations.  The characters we love are bigger than life, are more complex and interesting than available in reality, and some of them we would definitely not want to be friends with, but do want to watch do things.

CharacterQuote

I understand that kids are kids, and hopefully, most of them will grow out of some of those less than acceptable behaviors, but I gained a little insight while watching them – I was reminded that in order make our characters more interesting, we have to know more about them in order to flesh them out, whether we use it in the writing or not.  We need to know the childhoods of our characters, the type of kids they might have been.  Most of the time, it’s those early days that influence the people we become.  Most creatives have had difficult childhoods, endured bullying, and overcome a variety of obstacles, a reason they choose to express themselves creatively whether through writing, song, art, comedy…We need to take into consideration where our characters are from, the religious and cultural impact on their lives, the types of parents they had, their social standing, their education, and what type of friends they had – all of these make a character more complete.  All of these factors then help you understand how your character will respond in any given situation; their dialogue, how they handle stress, relationships, confrontation, etc.

I’ve read that a helpful trick to get to know your character better could be something like going on a date or interviewing the character.  What are the things you like to know about someone you’ve just started dating?  What questions would you ask someone you were interviewing to understand them better?  One of the first questions is always, “So where did you grow up?”  It tells you a lot about someone right off the bat.  And this is another way to give your character a unique voice.  I’ve heard it many times that writing dialogue is complicated, even though we all talk everyday, but writing it down is a much more difficult feat; there is nuance and subtext.  So if we know more about who are characters are, then that might make our writing flow that much easier.  And who doesn’t want that?!

On a side note, I hope you all are doing well!  I’ve noticed a lot of fellow bloggers have been struggling, so maybe this writing trick will be a fun exercise and a way to get out of your head.  Have a great week everyone and keep up the good work!

Quotes of the Week

There is no one way toward a destination, and sometimes we have to try different avenues to get us to our goal.  I’ve decided to try something different.  I’ll keep you posted. 😉

You can’t always wait for the perfect time. Sometimes, you have to dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what could have been.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

Have a great week everyone!

Writing Prompt Challenge Accepted #2

I had planned on writing these last weekend, but it wasn’t until my Thursday night writer’s group I actually sat down and did anything with them.  I’m doing my best to keep them under 200 words, and without a lot of forethought or editing.  They are what they are.

Again, if you have been inspired to write/create anything from any of the writing prompt images, please share! 🙂

LonelyWinterStreetA Cold Night

It was bitterly cold.  The air was heavy and dimmed the street lamps that lined the park.  He could barely see the bench less than ten meters away.  The spot was well chosen for a clandestine encounter.  Anders pulled his coat up around his neck and ears, his breath a thick cloud.  A shape seated on the bench became visible.  She was early.  He strained his eyes and ears in vain.  There was nothing but silence.  The figure on the bench did not move, and as he drew closer was able to see that it was slumped over.  He made one final full turn to take in the scene before kneeling before her.  Her breathing was shallow, and her hands were interlaced with blood from the wound in her stomach, but she still smiled weakly when she saw him.  Anders ran his hands over her face, his heart racing.  “I’m sorry, “ her voice was just above a whisper.  She pulled her coat aside to reveal that she had been wired, and the time was almost up.  She pushed him with what little strength she had left and said with all the emotion she could muster, “Run.”

MedievalGirlAtWindowThe Wish

Sabine was growing accustomed to life in her new home; the estate was beautiful, the people were kind, and she had duties enough to distract her, and yet her loneliness would not subside.  He had been gone longer than expected, and no word had been sent.  In order to maintain the household she would have to keep up appearances and only voice her concerns to the wind.  Every day she would walk up to the tower where the view was incomparable; she could not only see the bay where the ships would dock, but also the vast ocean beyond.  She could spend hours there, admiring the view, watching the interactions of the villagers below, and keeping an eye out for the one ship she longed to see again.  It was here she would make a wish, one she dared not speak aloud, and one she had not ever thought to make.

Nantes, France?The Manor

She had been riding her horse past the house for months, and had never seen anyone come or go.  She found it odd considering the state of the manor, it was well maintained.  Her father said the house had been abandoned years before.  In the winter months, as the night came earlier each day, lights within created a warm glow.  She found herself lingering longer each time she passed in the hopes of seeing someone, but she never saw anything, not even a shadow pass the window.  As spring arrived and the weather turned suitable to ride again, she decided she would have a look inside the manor and discover what mysteries might lie within.  It was on that day as she drew near, a cold breeze blew in bringing dark, looming clouds.  As she led her horse closer, she caught a glimpse of a face in the window.  It smiled then disappeared.  A moment later, the door opened.

Have a great weekend everyone!!

A Trip Down Memory Lane

HoneysuckleThe other day while walking my furkids, I had this memory from my childhood.  As my blog is called “A Writer’s Discrepant Memoir” due to my horrible memory, I thought I would share it before I lost it again.

There’s a house on our street that looks like it belongs in a Grimm’s fairytale.  Among all the greenery and flowers, it has bushes that started flowering honeysuckles. I looked at them and was transported back to the days of my childhood, when I used to pluck honeysuckles from a neighbor’s house, hoping to never get caught, and would drop the tiny nectar from their stamens* onto my tongue.  As I looked at them now, I still didn’t know if they were poisonous or not, but as a child I did not care.  I looked it up, they’re not.  But I remember looking forward to their blooming every year, trying not to pluck too many in a given day as to not leave enough for the rest of the season, or for the other neighborhood kids that had introduced me to the nectar in the first place.

It was an odd memory.  Even when I still lived in Vegas or when I go back for visits, I never go down that old street, but the more I thought of it, the more memories came.  I used to play Madison the mermaid from the movie Splash in a neighbor’s pool.  I had very, very long hair.  Remember Crystal Gayle?  Google her.  I wasn’t too far from that.  I had my bike stolen there.  I got bitten by a St. Bernard, who I remember stalked me until I had nowhere else to go and he bit my butt.  He was enormous, and must have outweighed me by 150 lbs. easy.  I used to build forts in the desert just around the corner from our neighborhood.  I remember one of our neighbors was friends with my parents, who at a party put his hand in the blender when it got stuck, and yep, it became unstuck with his hand still in it.  I’ve had a paranoia of blenders and garbage disposals ever since.  Anytime I see that in a tv show or movie, I cringe and get a little sick inside.  I got chicken pox in that house.  I used to play school by myself in our den.  I threw up brussel sprouts that I had eaten at a friend’s house, even after I begged not to eat them, because I did not like the smell.  I still can barely eat them.  I used the word “bastard” for the first time in reference to my one year old brother.  He was not, and I don’t think I even knew what the word meant, but it was years later before I dared to speak that word aloud again.  I broke a glow stick on the carpet in my bedroom.  I remember my parent’s bathroom toilet had leaked and mushrooms grew in the carpet.  So weird, right?!

It’s funny the things that stir memories.  A little flower took me down memory lane.  Well, how’s that for a throwback?

Happy Thursday everyone!

Writing Prompt #28

So I may have made a mistake in posting that last writing prompt image. I didn’t receive any links, I’m guessing, because we were all daydreaming about being there. 😉

So this week, let’s get back to work!  This image stirs an idea almost immediately, so I will take the challenge…who’s going to join me?

Nantes, France?

Happy Writing!

What I Learned Last Night At My Writer’s Group

UnhappyIconGracious.  Last night, for the first time, I read some of my work to the group; a few pages of the script I’m thinking of adapting into a tv series.  I’ve been attending this particular writer’s group since January, and some of the members have become friends, so I was completely taken by surprise at the level of anxiety that overtook me when I started to read.  I haven’t been that nervous since the first time I had my work read aloud in college, many moons ago, which I did eventually get over.  Obviously, it’s been in hiding.  The quivering voice that made me more and more self conscious as I continued to read, the spastic hand that made it difficult to scroll, reiterated to me why writers drink.  Our group leader brings wine for everyone each week, but last night I did not partake…I really should have.  I got positive feedback, so that felt good, but I felt stupid that at this point in my life, I couldn’t control the nervousness.  I was surprised they were even able to pay attention to the words beyond the trembling.

This unsettled me.  If I had this level of anxiety among people I knew, how would I be able to pitch and sell my stories to strangers?

I used to wait tables and bartend.  Talking to strangers comes easily, but talking about myself and my work on a bigger scale is clearly a hurdle I will have to overcome.  I was thinking back to my first days as a server.  I was nervous, but nothing like what I experienced last night.  I became a pretty good server, often asked to wait on special guests at the restaurants I worked in…I would have to remember those principles I once implemented as a server; being friendly, professional, confident.

I would also have to practice.  As I had been able to get over the anxiety in school through repeated exposure, I would have to do the same thing at the writer’s group.  I mean, I am to blame for not getting myself and my work out there more.  I’ve been attending the group for 6 months and I just shared my work?!  Geez.  So I came to the conclusion that I would have to read, and read, and read some more.  I would have to get comfortable being vulnerable again.  I’m not sure if it was the judgement I feared or what exactly, but I was reminded of a particular quote when I got home –

Your work is not you.

If anyone has any advice to offer on the subject, please share!

On a side note, I wrote about 700 words of some Dragon Age fan fiction…

I’m sending out positive vibes today!  Best wishes!

 

My Dragon Age Obsession

DA3CUsword&ringsI am not the first to talk about this, and actually, it may appear I’m late to the party, but I’ve been focused on being helpful, and I’ve been so serious lately, that I’ve forgotten to explore some of the other things that intrigue me.  Case in point, the upcoming release of the new game in the Dragon Age series, Inquisition.  Due October 7, 2014.

I am so excited!  For those of you who don’t know this about me yet, I am obsessed with Dragon Age.  Thank you, David Gaider, creator of this fantastic world!  The original game, Origins, was the most fun I’ve had playing a game in a while, and I unabashedly admit to playing it through three times (as each different class, and every time I romanced the same character because I cannot be mean to him or refuse him, I’ve tried, but I always feel badly about it, to which my sister openly mocks me).

For those of you unfamiliar with the game, here are a few reasons why I love it –

  • It takes place in a magical medieval land
  • There are wonderful backstories and character development, and it takes time and effort to build relationships
  • There is wonderful dialogue, comedic side comments during gameplay, and multiple options for romance
  • The game encompasses issues regarding race, religion, and politics
  • You become part of a group known as the Grey Wardens, a legendary order of warriors/guardians, and due to actions within the game are one of two left in the land, and the only hope of defeating the impending threat of a demonic-type horde
  • There are multiple threats and obstacles to overcome
  • The events in this game can be uploaded to DA2 which then shapes some of the events in that world, and then those will affect the third.
  • And for a writer, all of the intricacies are a great lesson in story, character development, and world building

And this is what this obsession has done to me  – For Christmas, my sister bought me the wonderful and comprehensive compendium.  I have been inspired to write fan fiction.  I have played with the idea of getting a DA inspired tattoo (I don’t have any).  I have bought music from the soundtracks.  I have read books based on the game.  I have looked for jobs at Bioware.  There was a contest to have your voice included in the new game, and I was preparing for it, then went out of town and missed the deadline.  There was some anger for a few days.  I’m still angry.  I have looked and will eventually buy some memorabilia, i.e. a sword, tee-shirt, what-have-you, when I’m not broke.  I want to buy a PC (I use Apple) just so I can create mods (extra scenes with new dialogue, special armor, etc. that can then be inserted into the game) for the PC version of the game, which then requires I re-buy the game for PC.  I have an entire folder on my computer dedicated to DA artwork.

I can’t draw, and I am amazed by the talent on DeviantArt and their interpretations and styles.  The first two images are Alistair, the Grey Warden and travel companion my character romanced every time (and a female Warden).  The second two are Fenris from DA 2, who is a broody elf (with reason) whom my character also romanced.  I love these!  And am thankful to all the artists.

RomanticAlistair&Elf(incamp)Alistair&Lady(Disneyesque) FenrisDAII-Fenris

So here’s a little forewarning as to why I might be MIA come October. 🙂 And thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

Have a great week!

DeviantArtists: Smilika (images 1 & 4), rooster82 (#2), and  RinaCane (#3)