Quote Monday

I’m going to ramble for a moment, so please bear with me while I vent.

In last week’s Writing Prompt post I mentioned how I was struggling with choices. Before the end of the year, I was doing some hard thinking about plans for the future.  The Sis and I moved back to Las Vegas a little over a year ago for a number of reasons, one being that she finish her undergrad and then we move on.  Unfortunately, she has now found a job she truly enjoys, she’s making friends, and getting herself together.  She’s currently taking the semester off.

It seems unfair to uproot yet again, but I don’t want to stay here.  I don’t like Vegas.  Never have.  I’m tired of moving…we’ve moved so. many. times, but I want to find a place to call “home”.  I’ve only felt that sense of home once, when I traveled to England for the first time.  I felt it before we even landed.  That’s when the obsession began.  And, that’s what I’m looking for.  As much as I’d like to do a final move across the sea, there’s just no way that’s even remotely possible in my current state.

So here’s “the thing”, the thing that’s been lingering at the back of my mind, the thing I never want to say out loud.  I want to be a screenwriter, but all screenwriters know it takes at least 5 years to make any headway (once you legitimately hit the pavement – so I still have about 4 years), and I don’t want to flounder in this state, without purpose, without direction, for upwards of 5 or more years.  I don’t want to hold down a menial job that I loathe until things work out.  Yes, I’m still trying to remain positive, hence the lack of the dangerous “if”.

I want a job I enjoy.  I want to buy a house.  I want to plan for the future but I feel as if I’m destined to remain in this perpetual state of limbo.  It all comes back around to choices.  I’ve made choices that have led me to where I am, but I’m finding it difficult to make choices that will encourage change…in part because I don’t know where to begin.

Do I suck it up and make it work where I am, or do I continue to seek out that thing that I know is out there?  How does one move forward when they’re kind of stuck due to obligation and circumstance?  How do people get their act together?

NewEnding

Any advice from fellow creatives would be greatly appreciated.  How do you make it work, find balance, and stay sane?

Finding Your Writing Voice

TypewriterFontWriterI hate, that as screenwriters, we are often told that our first screenplay is rubbish.  No one ever says that about a first time novelist. (Although, obviously, there are exceptions to that rule in either case.)  It’s an infuriating statement.  I’ve been writing something since I was eight, of course, that was all rubbish and I had no idea what I was doing, but when I wrote my first screenplay in college, I was in love.  That’s when everything changed.

Now, the premise of that screenplay has sort of remained through subsequent drafts, but it has seen a major overhaul of story and characters a number of times.  So yes, that first screenplay was terrible in comparison, and I would never have considered sending it out, but I don’t believe that’s what “they’re” talking about.

Regardless of how many revisions a screenplay has seen, I think “they”, the elusive industry people, believe that a first screenplay is just a starting point.  They don’t believe we have found our voice, learned enough about structure and pacing, and all the other technical screenwriting terms we’re supposed to know because writing a screenplay is nothing like writing a novel*.

*I’m currently reading Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms.  Gracious.  If a screenwriter wrote like that, we’d be blacklisted.  For those who have read it, you know what I mean, for those who haven’t, eek, it’s a tough read.

As a screenwriter, I have not focused on any other writing styles as part of my portfolio or tried my hand at being a freelancer.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.  Whenever I tell someone I’m a screenwriter, the next words out of their mouth are almost always in regards to having anything published.  Nope.  I don’t write the kind of stuff that can easily be published, anywhere.  And then I feel like a failure.  Although, in all fairness, I’m not going to hone my screenwriting skills writing an article on cats, or what-have-you.

Reading Stephen King’s On Writing didn’t help morale either. (Now, I learned years ago not to compare myself to others, not in writing or in success, but, and this is a BIG “but”, he currently has 50 titles to his credit, in addition to so many other things while I’m sitting proudly behind my 4 1/2 full length features, which I round up to 5 to sound better and the immense TV show floating around in my head.  Ugh.)  He started writing when he was a kid too, influenced in a completely different way than I was.  Where he enjoyed the horror movies of the 50s, I was drawn to princess stories and the fantasy films of the 80s.  He was encouraged to create his own stories, but honestly, I don’t remember having that same sort of support.  Here’s that discrepant part of my memory.  I don’t remember really sharing anything I had written until my senior year in high school when I took a creative writing class.  That was the first time I had ever read my words aloud, and although the feedback was positive, I didn’t feel compelled to send my work out.  Again, I didn’t even know where to begin.

I continued to write in the privacy of my room, taking a variety of English classes, playwriting, and creative classes along the way, but nothing satisfied the way screenwriting did, and I wouldn’t find that for many years.  I remember I wrote this one-act play that my teacher loved.  She said I should have it put on by this theater group that performed at a coffee bar across from the university.  I never pursued it.

It was these early mistakes that I think stunted my growth as a writer.  Without proper encouragement, I was left flailing – never to develop my voice, never to see my work in print or on stage, never to pursue a career with any fervor.  Now here I am, all these years later, finally getting it together.

So, here’s the point.

If you truly want to be a writer, you have to work at it.  That’s how we develop our voice.  We have to read.  We have to write.  Everyday.  This has been reiterated by every writer throughout history.  And it is absolutely true.  I am not the same writer I was when I was 8, at least I hope not.  I’m not even the same writer I was in my 20s, and that is due to exposure.  When we are exposed to other voices and styles, we see what we like, what we don’t, what works, what doesn’t (at least for us), and that makes us better writers by adding to our toolbox.  Another lesson from On Writing.

It is through trial and error that we develop our writer’s voice.  We have to practice everyday.  Find new ways to explore our voice.  That’s why I started writing the flash fiction pieces, and the fan fiction, for that matter.  This blog has helped me tremendously as well.  I thought that if it wasn’t screenwriting, it didn’t matter.  How wrong I was.

Don’t make my mistakes.  Let my errors be a lesson or a cautionary tale.  Find avenues to get your work out there.  Attain feedback.  Find a writers group.  Find a beta reader.  You can be your own cheerleader, most of the time we have to be anyway, but find someone who will encourage you.  You may already have this person in your life, or maybe they’re a friend waiting to be made in a writers group.  They don’t have to be a writer, but only other writers understand the life.  It’s tough, it’s lonely, and often thankless, but we do it for the love.

We love to tell stories, and hopefully one day, others will love reading them.  As for that first screenplay, I’m still going to send it out.  I love it…now.  It doesn’t remotely resemble the first version all those years ago in Screenwriting 102, and that is in part because I have written and rewritten and written some more, not nearly as much as I should have by now, but I like my current voice and style, and that is reflected in it’s most recent rewrite.

Although in the real world, by which I mean Hollywood, I would not be allowed to keep rewriting my script 10+ years later.  Oh my gods, if someone doesn’t buy it soon, I’ll be known as the George Lucas of rewrites. 😉

If you ever need an encouraging word, you know where to find me.  Wishing you all the very best!

Starting the New Year Right

2016I once read this quote-like thing that said something about: how you choose to spend the first day of the new year is a good measuring stick for the rest of the year.  Or something to that effect.

The first day of a new year is not a magical reset button, but it is a good jumping off point, especially now that so many other obligations are behind us.  And thinking about how that one day of activity might influence the remaining 364 days is kind of scary…although I did happen to start my pilot last night around 12:30 for good measure. 😉

A blank slate sits before us.

As you’ve learned, I don’t like resolutions, but there are a few things I would like to do this year, things that keep getting pushed to the sidelines, such as:

  1. I’d like to get my screenwriting portfolio in order…finally.  I want Hollywood to not know what hit ’em.  Which means getting my writing space in order again: buying a desk chair, plastering my wall with my goals, setting deadlines and keeping them, finding ways to get my writing out into the world, etc.
  2. I’d like to learn to sew in order to make my first cosplay outfit.  You guessed it, something Dragon Age related.  I have such a good idea, well, I think so.  I’d draw you a picture, except that was one of my plans for last year, to learn to draw, and of course it never happened.  Maybe this year.
  3. I’d like to travel somewhere new.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had an actual vacation.
  4. I’d like to read more.  I’ve been horrible about this recently, except in regards to fanfiction, which is just fun.  I have one of those lists of the books everyone should read, and well, there are a lot left.

There are of course the things like lose 10 lbs and clear out the junk in the garage and find a new job, blah blah blah, but those always seem to be in rotation.

So if you’d like to not jinx the rest of the year, do something today that you’ll thank yourself for later.  Kidding!

Happy New Year, my friends!  Dream Big and let’s make this year Fantastic!

Quote Monday

As the year draws to a close, we often look backward to reflect, but the past is unchangeable and can cause us to wonder how much more we could have accomplished, or could have changed.  It sometimes creates regret that makes us feel inadequate, but it should be a catalyst to inspire us to do more, to look to the future as a clean slate.  Each day is a new day to achieve what we desire.

I hit a few bumps this past week, and I am making a number of decisions to become the hero of my own life, because as we know, no one else can be that for us.

HeroQuote

I wish you all the best and hope you are continuing to reach for your dreams!

Be your own hero and don’t let anyone tell you differently!  😉

Quote Monday

Last week passed in a blur of work, Thanksgiving prep, and hanging with family and friends.  I hope those of you who celebrate the holiday enjoyed yourselves and found a number of reasons to be thankful.

I am thankful to The Sis for being my roommate all these years because we have a lot of fun together.  As we cooked dinner, drinking champagne, and dancing and singing around the kitchen, I was reminded of the holidays of my childhood when my family would argue and the occasion would be filled with stress and anger.  I’m thankful those days are behind me.

There are those who don’t understand how we can still live together, that we don’t desire our own lives, or whatever, but instead of living with just a friend or even a stranger, we have decided to stick it out together, maybe that makes us weird, but…

WhateverMakesYouWeird

She supports me, she gets me, she encourages my creativity, indulges my obsessions, and that is why having her in my corner is one of my greatest assets (and allows me to be confidently weird in lots of other ways).

What makes you weird?

Quote of the Week

As writers, we live a lot in our heads.  We may be silent, but our minds are always working.  I’m often thinking about a story, or how something I’ve heard or seen may come in useful later on, but recently I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking about life.

There are changes that need to be made, and I can’t sit idly by and hope that magically somehow things will be set right.  As a fantasy writer, I know I secretly hope to have an outside force grant me that deus ex machina that, perfectly timed, will solve my problems, but…yeeaah.

I saw this quote today, and it speaks volumes.

StrongEnough

No matter what struggles you are facing, whether personal or professional, or all of the above, you will persevere!  Keep your head up, do what makes you happy (or find it), and continue to reach for the stars!

Wishing you all the very best!

In Need of a Proverbial (or Actual) Kick in the Backside

This Discrepant Writer

Boring

Yesterday I started a blog post that was a little on the bitter side.  Quick version: Bad job = poor wages = self-imposed restrictions = bored.  After writing it, I thought on it for a while and decided to wait on publishing it.  That was a good decision, I think.  I don’t want to put that out into the world, and I know you don’t want to read it.  As creatives, we have to keep hope alive, against insurmountable odds, and often times without the support of those who truly understand what our lives are like.  When I was still living in Los Angeles, I had my writer’s group, but since moving back to Las Vegas, I have lost my writer friends, those who “know”.  I miss them.

Work has got me down, and unfortunately, that’s affecting my creative life, which is usually where I escape.  I’ve been skirting the start of the pilot, but I don’t know why.  I have pages upon pages of notes and ideas, and now they just need to be organized and fluffed, but I’ve lost steam.  Hence, the proverbial kick.

I read this quote today, something about people who are optimistic all the time are delusional.  It made me giggle, because although I try to be as optimistic as I can, especially in this space, as writers we are constantly afflicted with a variety of emotional states and the stress of the balancing act of our multiple lives, so it’s okay to not be happy and perky all the time.

I know this attitude shift is mostly because I’m looking for a new job, again.  There is also a teensy bit of regret that I have so few skills other than food and beverage service.  I feel as if I’ve been perpetually looking for a job for the past 5 years.  I’m ever so tired.  I don’t have high expectations, I just want to make decent money to support The Sis while she finishes school, and I’d kind of like to look forward to it.  That should not be asking too much.

I would love to hear from you, my friends.  How do you survive the daily grind in order to maintain your creative life?  How do you maintain your sanity?

Tips, tricks, and inspiration welcome!

Have a great weekend!

*So, this post isn’t that negative, right?

Quote Monday

Happy Monday, my friends!

So yes, I was away last week, and I don’t even have a good excuse like I was on vacation or anything.  It was just one of those weeks.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, in regards to the future and the whole menial work situation, and have been rattling some ideas around about how to change all that.  While living in LA, I discovered an organization that I wanted to be a part of just before we moved away.  There is no such organization where I am now and I’ve been thinking of starting my own.  A HUGE endeavor, but one that combines a few of my passions.  When I draw some better conclusions, I’ll share more.  So in that vein, I offer you the following quote:

BuildADoor

Have you had similar thoughts?  Please share!

Have a great week everyone!

Fun(ish) Fact Friday

HelpfulTipsOnce again, upon clearing out my email, I discovered this wonderful series of infographics from Good in a Room entitled “Screenplay Writing Explained in 7 Infographics.  I really need to be better about checking my email.  This was an interesting look at the world of screenwriting as a whole and a bit eye opening.  Take a look!  There’s not only great information and tips, but some stats that show what one reader saw within 300 scripts.

And then there was this…

A couple of days ago while scrolling through Twitter, I found this article from Screencraft entitled “How to Survive the Screenwriter Grind“.  I was left with a sort of “ugh” feeling.  I don’t think that was its intended purpose.

*Disclaimer: I did not intend for Fun Fact Friday to be defeating in anyway.  I just wanted to share what I read.  Okay, with that being said…this is my train of thought.

In the first article and the first infographic, of those 300 scripts, it does not say how many are by first time writers.  I think the first story we, as writers, put out in the world, should be one we are passionate about.  I, personally, am not passionate about the horror genre.  I’m not a fan in general.  Horror was the most submitted genre – 49 scripts.  I find this surprising, especially in light of Spielberg’s comments recently about superhero movies going the way of the western.  I nearly roll my eyes every time I see yet another advert for a horror film/sequel.

Now, I did not see Ant-man, and that is in part because I don’t really care for the character of Hank Pym.  Now his girlfriend, Jan, I do like, and she’s not even in the film.  Then I discovered, it really wasn’t about them anyway, and we can’t get a Wonder Woman movie?!  Yes, I am just like the rest of the geek girl squad calling out for a female driven superhero film.  Lynda Carter already portrayed the Amazon goddess and she deserves a return to the big screen!  Because seriously, did we need another Fantastic Four movie?  Or a whole new series of Spiderman?  ((sigh))

But I digress.

Screenwriting is a business.  I understand this.  All screenwriters understand this.  And it is a tough business to get in and stay in.  But what I learned is that until we make things happen, we need to live our lives.  This is something that needs to be reiterated.  We may have jobs we don’t really care for while waiting for the “big break”, but we don’t have to be unhappy in the interim.

I want to be a working screenwriter, so I’ve been taking jobs that maybe aren’t the best to allow me some extra free time to work on my writing, but, and this is a big BUT, I need to be satisfied in my daily life in order to write the kind of stories I want to tell.  At the moment I’m going to a very unfulfilling job and finding escape in my writing.  Now yes, I write fantasy and sci-fi so it’s easy to escape into those stories, but I’m not sure it should be a refuge from the outside world.

Finding balance, maybe that’s how I’ll survive the screenwriter grind.

What are your thoughts on surviving the writer’s life?