There’s this weird thing that happens when you find yourself as one of the last single people among your friends, or when you reach a certain age and are shockingly, still unmarried. Suddenly there’s something wrong with you. There’s a huge hole in your life. You’re now being judged by the person that five minutes ago found someone not completely repulsive on a dating website.
There’s this weird thing that happens when people couple up. They discover they have a pitying facial expression that automatically pops up when they meet a singleton. They develop this superior attitude as if they’ve discovered some ultimate secret and are now determined to “help” you.
The other night, I had these two older male diners making small talk, asking if I was married, blah blah blah, and when I said I wasn’t seeing anyone, one of them had the audacity to ask what was wrong with me. The other asked if I was happy.
Really?!
Yes, I am happy, as surprising as that may be. I’m content being on my own at this point in my life. I don’t need a man to feel complete and fulfilled, etc. But clearly you’re just looking for some explanation as to why you’re not, as you’ve made multiple comments about being unhappy in your 25 years of marriage. Honestly, I was a bit put off by the whole exchange and was happy to see them leave. Why do people, strangers even, think it’s okay to say something they have absolutely no right or knowledge to comment on? Side note, this is the same problem I have with social media and the lack of filter most people seem to possess nowadays.

Two of my heroines never married – Elizabeth I and Jane Austen. Both were single in a time when it wasn’t exactly acceptable for a woman to be, and yet here they are, hundreds of years later, respected and revered for such brave decisions. So why in this day and age is my choice to not enter into a time sucking and emotionally draining relationship so unusual?
My last serious relationship was with a deceitful, manipulative philanderer. After a physical confrontation of a break up, I was turned off by the whole idea of dating, and for a while after, it made me reflect on my own faults at having been so twisted to suit his will. I didn’t think I could be so easily swayed, but clearly that’s what had happened and I doubted myself for some time afterward.
Now, I’m looking for something extraordinary. I don’t want to just date randoms. A) I don’t have time for that, and B) Take this as you will, I want more. You’re probably thinking, but how will you find that “one” if you’re not dating? Like I said, I’m okay building the kind of life I want on my own. I’m not high maintenance, but at this stage in my life, I am who I am, and it would take someone with a particular understanding of this to add to my life, and I haven’t met the one that offers that. This is probably why I write romance – so I can live vicariously through my characters.
This is a post of solidarity to my fellow singletons and a message to those of you who have coupled up and feel it your obligation to pair off everyone you know: Unless we say otherwise, we’re okay on our own…
Although, I am tempted to get some sort of sign for future reference – #TallGirlProblems 😉

Have a great weekend!
Thursday night I had the opportunity to see Mr. Las Vegas perform after a five year hiatus. I don’t remember seeing him in my youth, but he was such a staple here, I have this particular image of him in my mind as if he were an old friend, that I felt it a necessity to see him given the chance. And it was free. Bonus.
A scenery so beautiful, that has become lost over time, it hides many stories of those who walked it’s path. Maybe it was of lovers, who enjoyed it’s peace and serenity, creating memories to share with those to come. Or of those who were parted by destiny, yet met here to maintain their promises, or of those who revisited in remembrance of lost lovers. The secrets it withholds shall be tied within its ageing beauty, as the old marks fade, the new emerge.
To be a mage was to be a bit of a show off. While we cast spells, we are alight with magic. We flash with a rainbow of colors, imbued with powers from the Fade. We twirl our staves in a great display. For any mage, their staff is an extension of themselves. It helps to focus our hits, it directs with greater accuracy, but it also needs to bear quite a burden. I knew with each passing fight, I was not only developing new skills, but I was also capable of more than I had been before.
We found Loki on a rescue website, and knew the moment we saw him, that he was ours. After picking him up, the rescue called us to see if we were interested in adopting a second pup. Her new family had just decided to not show up, and she was in need of a home. The Sis and I had already been looking into adopting a second dog, so we readily, and full heartedly, agreed.
I didn’t understand the love people had for their furkids, until these two entered my life. I totally get it now, and I’m thankful for it. Their happiness and well-being are my top priority.
Some days I long for my childhood. Some days. Remember there was that thing…what was it called again? Oh, yes. Ignorant bliss. Our biggest concerns were homework and whether we were getting together with our friends on the weekend, or what have you. High school, and even college, were supposed to prepare us for adulthood, but honestly, I don’t think either of those institutions did their job properly.
It’s all just theory, isn’t it? Wishing that maybe we had been given the tools to live our lives better instead of just blindly meandering? How many of those things we’d like to change are just built into our DNA? Sometimes I look at some of my friends and wonder how they pulled themselves together. They were once like I was. What changed? Maybe they haven’t. Maybe they’re doing what I am – putting on a good show.

While reading On Writing by Stephen King at the beginning of the year, I made notes, wherever was convenient at that particular moment – things I wanted to remember. I like getting a resource messy – highlighting passages, underlying things, and making notes in the margins because the book is a tool, and although I felt that way about On Writing, I couldn’t force myself to mark up it’s pages.
I wanted to be…better, in all aspects of my life. So, I decided to mix things up and create for myself a new schedule that would lead me to the things I wanted. I wanted to get fit, so I’ve made it a goal to work out every other day. So far, I’ve been pretty good about it, and I do feel better. I wanted to read more, since last year I didn’t read a single book, and I’m close to finishing no#5. I wanted to write more, and I’m on a third rewrite of my tv pilot, I’ve written more fanfic, and I’ve taken on more Writing Prompt Challenges.
Life gets busy. It’s easy to get sidetracked. Sometimes it’s comforting to get lost in TV and gaming, I should know, but in order to reach our goals and follow our dreams, we have to be relentless in that pursuit.
Some time back in July, I wrote the first part of this topic. You can read it
Tired of dragging my heels, I finally made it a point to write the first draft, regardless of how much information I was still lacking, and this was a huge step forward for me. I’m one of those who painstakingly writes each word. I tend to rewrite while I’m writing, and this causes a lot of lag time. I wanted to pound out the first draft as quickly as possible (I think I wrote it in 3-4 days), then I would know what I was missing and how to proceed in my research and decision making. So here is a suggestion for something I have never done before.
My last insight is this. Fantasy and sci-fi, in particular, allow for a number of freedoms in their stories, but it also offers writers the opportunity to highlight social and political issues under this guise. Just another topic to consider while you’re world building. Is there something going on in the world that you want to talk about? Setting your story against an alien/fantasy backdrop may offer you the freedom to share your insight. This is something I learned years ago, when I decided I didn’t want my first story to be just a fluff piece. I utilize my fantasy and sci-fi worlds to highlight the current state of humanity, the deterioration of the environment, and the pros and cons in the advancement of technology.

Reunion