I once jumped without a parachute, figuratively not literally. When The Sis and I moved to Los Angeles, I worked for a restaurant chain that allowed me to have a job upon arrival and to change locations with each subsequent move around the city. Unfortunately, with each move, the money worsened until at a total loss, I up and quit, feeling there had to be something better on the horizon. It was LA after all.
Nearly 2 1/2 years later, I could not find a job to save my life. I sent out nearly 250 resumes in the first year and only ever received 2 responses. Those are some pretty bad odds, especially for a girl from Vegas. I was lucky in that I had the support of The Sis who eventually told me to stop worrying about finding a job and to do what we had moved there to do in the first place – for me to become a working screenwriter.
Easier said than done.
The only problem with that was that the guilt of not working nearly ate me alive. At my age, having my baby sister take care of me was a big pill to swallow, and the screenwriting career took a hit. How does a fairytale writer write happily ever afters when they are wallowing in self pity and depression?
Cut to living in Las Vegas, again, and working for a company that is legitimately shady. Nearly 7 months of trying to find another job have failed to produce any results…again, seriously?! But this time, I’m taking the moral high ground. I will not continue to work for people that A) do not respect their employees B) operate under suspicious terms and C) do things that are, in fact, illegal.
Besides the mind numbing effect of the work, I don’t make enough money to support The Sis which is why we decided to move back to Vegas in the first place, so that she could go back to school. I don’t write my own things when I get home because I’ve stared at a computer for 8 hours writing nonsense. Sorry blog. I’m usually brain dead, and to top it all off, I think I’ve gained weight because I sit around all day. Sheesh.
So here I am, ready to jump without a parachute, again. I’m choosing to be brave and to expect good things. ((crossing my fingers)) I hope this will lead me to bigger and better…please let it get better!
The life of a creative is a difficult one, always trying to balance work with what we really want to do. Maybe when I’ve found some measure of success (of what I consider for myself), I’ll look back on these days with no regrets. As of right now, it’s tough to endure. Am I making the right decision? I have lifelines here, but I feel making this decision on the grounds of self respect is, well, a bit haughty.
I’ll let you know how I feel about it next week when I find freedom…in the mean time wish me luck!
How about you? Have you ever made a leap of faith? What was the outcome?
This image makes me think of the poem by Byron, “She Walks in Beauty” and I feel compelled to write a poem, which I just don’t do. Be kind. 😉
