Celebrating My 10th Anniversary: A Retrospective – Year Two

Posted in Posts by Rachael C Marek

My first year, WordPress says I published 49 posts. I had 142 visitors.

By Year Two I was on a roll. I had written 163 posts and had 1,655 visitors. I remember feeling accomplished that year. By that August, I had shared nearly 40 writing prompts.

Well, look at that. Nearly one a week. ((sigh))

I shared more tips, useful websites, and a little more about who I was and how I was becoming more comfortable with myself as a writer. I also shared the beginning of what would become my Dragon Age obsession.

It may be even worse now.

But I’m okay with that.

Side note, this is the image that started me down my fan fiction rabbit hole. –>

Do I regret the subsequent 200k+ words?

Nope. Not in the least.

That year I decided to be brave. I hadn’t read my work aloud since college, so one night in my writer’s group, I finally shared, and I was as nervous as I had been that first time in my screenwriting class. Surrounded by fellow writers, friends, my voice shook and I remember feeling fearful of their judgement, despite how supportive the environment was. I was worried they would find my writing inferior, even if they would never say such out loud, and the thing I love to do would be tainted.

I haven’t had the opportunity to have my work read aloud again since. At the Austin Film Festival a few years ago, I pitched my story, and whoo, still as nervous as ever. I’ve waited tables, bartended, worked in sales, and run huge events, and yet talking about my writing still has me shaking in my boots.

Hopefully, with more exposure, that will lessen in time.

One can only hope.

Year Two had me coming out of my shell. I was in my blogging groove, I was feeling productive, despite (still) not having a day job, and I was getting myself out “there” in the hopes it would lead me to the right connection.

It didn’t…but I was actively trying.

Looking back, that was a pretty good year, and some more of you have been joining me for all the ups and downs since.

Thank you!

xx, Rach

27Aug2023

Celebrating My 10th Anniversary: A Retrospective – Year One

Posted in Posts by Rachael C Marek

10 years.

I have been keeping a blog about writing, some times not so well, for 10 years.

When I got the notification, I’ll be honest, I had a not so happy reaction. While an achievement on my part, that’s some decent commitment, I was struck by how little had changed in all this time.

I am still writing the same things here all these years later. I’m still spouting positivity. I’m still cheering on the pursuit of following one’s dreams. All the while, not having made any inroads on my own career path.

And surprisingly, we’re back in California. How’s that for a bookend?

10 years ago, when I started this blog, it was because I hadn’t been able to find a (day) job for a year. I had sent out over 200 applications and only received 2 responses. I was depressed. I wasn’t writing. I was lost.

The Sis and I had a good talk then. We had moved to LA, mainly, for my writing, so if the job market wasn’t going to give me anything, then I make something for myself. She was making really good money at the time, and had already been supporting us in that uneventful/dreadful year, so she told me to start writing. That was my job.

It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I gave it a go.

I started attending networking events. I joined a writer’s group. I made writer friends. I started my blog. (Actually, now thinking on it, I started it elsewhere, I can’t remember where. This one came along a short time later.)

I was pretty clear from the beginning what I wanted my blog to be about. I never wanted to be on a soap box. I didn’t want to voice my opinions on things that weren’t related to writing (no matter how much I wanted to sometimes). I wanted this to be an encouraging environment. I wanted only notes of positivity and inspiration, because as I’ve said, at least a dozen times before, writing is a lonely, often times difficult road, and we should be supportive of one another.

That first year I offered a number of tips. I wanted writers to accept themselves and their work. I wanted to help them find inspiration, deal with rejection, be prepared for the path ahead, and discover opportunities. I wanted us all to be a little kinder to ourselves.

I still want ALL those things.

It’s hard to look back and realize how little I’ve advanced in my career. (Side note, thanks to The Sis for her supportive perspective – I have not actively pursued my dream job for a solid 10 years.) I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but only in the last few years have I become the writer I want to be. I actually have pride in a number of my stories, and yes, one of them is a work of fan fiction. I didn’t have that 10 years ago.

A decade is a big chunk of time. Just think of all the things that have happened since 2013. Crazy, right?!

There are some of you who have been with me since the beginning, and I can’t thank you enough for your support. I didn’t really know what I was doing all those years ago, but you stuck with me all the same. Even when I’m consistently inconsistent. Which is like all the time. I’m still kicking around here because of you, so, thanks!

And I hope to prove in the near future that it wasn’t in vain, so…

Happy 10th Blogging Anniversary to me. ((half cringing-crying-smiling)) 😉

xx, Rach

1Aug2023

Quote of the Week

Posted in Quotes by Rachael C Marek

I was skimming my socials when I came upon this quote. I’m sure I’ve shared it before, but it resounded with me today, and well, here it is, possibly, probably, again.

I’m taking a class on how to get writing assignments through ScreenwritingU, a section of the screenwriting world I’ve never learned. I’m only into week two and it’s been rather eye-opening.

So upon seeing this quote, I thought to myself, “You know what? Let’s try that.”

I’ve watched some bad movies in my life, and as a writer, I’m sometimes surprised (and maybe a little annoyed/jealous) that it got made. The truth is, no one sets out to make a bad movie. There are just so many moving parts and so many chefs in the kitchen that sometimes a potentially good movie is doomed to fail. There are budget constraints and so many rewrites that often times a good script can become unrecognizable. It’s a sad side effect of the business.

So how do you “believe” in yourself? How do you become the person others are jealous of?

It’s not easy being brave where our art is concerned. For writers, we’re fairly content being on our own, keeping our words close to our hearts, and not really showing them to the world out of fear, for a number of reasons while simultaneously wanting fame and fortune. So I suppose step one might be – try being a little more brave. Get something out into the world.

One person’s opinion should not shatter our dreams and derail our perseverance. So get some feedback. It’s all about growing, becoming better, and challenging ourselves. That takes courage.

Maybe step two is evaluating our work and ourselves. I suppose this might actually be the first step. What are we good at, maybe even great at? By celebrating those things, it should help boost our confidence. Knowing where our strengths lie is a good stepping stone to progressing forward. This will also help us be more brave when we know we have something to be proud of.

And finally, I’d say step three is personal affirmations. Yeah, this sounds a little woo-woo, but when I do yoga, sometimes the instructor says something like, “Thank yourself for showing up today.” It usually makes me giggle, but it also makes me feel better. It’s so simple, and yet effective. If you’ve never said something nice to yourself, try it. Trust me. (wink)

Do you have any other tips of how we can make an impact towards our career? Share it below!

Happy Writing!

6Jul2023

Another Update and a Quote

Posted in Posts, Quotes by Rachael C Marek

Well, hello!

I hope you’re all well! So, I have an update – we are finally…mostly…settled in our new place and lives, hence the radio silence on my end recently.

It took some time.

I was driving an hour and a half one way for work, for about six weeks, therefore I had little time to spend doing anything of value during the week. The 55+ hours away from home were exhausting, both mentally and physically. It was temporary, but it was a struggle some days.

I give it up to those who do that sort of drive regularly.

I had little opportunity to feel creative, because so much was still in the air. And that takes a toll of a different kind.

What did offer a sliver of light during this chaos was meeting a fellow screenwriter at my new work place. In addition to talking about our “craft”, we talked about the other kind of writing we enjoy…fan fiction.

Yep. I met another gamer-geek-writer who writes fanfic of a game she loves and we laughed and encouraged one another for it. It was a great moment, but what made it even better was a short time later, when we crossed paths again, she thanked me for letting her be seen, for feeling validated for enjoying something that so many people either don’t understand or belittle and frown upon.

I shared with her how I had once been embarrassed by the joy I received in writing something that held no bearing or consequence on my “real” writing. I used it as an escape, because my screenwriting was ever so personal and had to be painstakingly written to be just right. I could write freely, and that was a lovely, stress-free feeling. She could empathize and that was a nice moment as I have so few writer friends to share in the misery.

For a while, I was embarrassed by my “real” writing too.

We, writers, are weird.

I found the quote above a couple of weeks ago, but I haven’t had the impulse to sit and write. Not really. I have written a little, but in all honesty, I haven’t felt like I’ve had anything to say, even with the story of my new writer friend. Then I went to lunch with a friend from college who shared with me some unexpected news, and this quote resonated with me again. She needed to be heard.

And I knew I needed to share this quote.

This page is not just dedicated to our creative lives, but our regular lives too. Everything we experience, the good and bad, shapes us. It not only makes us better writers, but hopefully, better people too.

Do you have a story to share? Do you need to feel seen? Let’s commiserate and lift one another up!

Happy Writing! xx, Rach

13Mar2023

Discrepant Writer Update

Posted in Posts by Rachael C Marek

It’s official.

We are California residents…once more.

After yet another stressful move, we’ve landed and are trying to return to normal. I barely slept for weeks and it took days upon days to feel like myself again. I’m still not sure I’m there yet.

And we’re not done yet – a hiccup in the apartment application process has left us in limbo. Thankfully, we have family here. So all our stuff is in storage, which means we’ll have to load up a truck again. I’m sure you can imagine our delight at that prospect.

So here I sit, a little over a week after a big move trying to find my groove with a mild sense of worry that it’s going to take a bit longer to get to that “vibe” I’m hoping for. The lack of routine and normalcy for over a month has left my creative side on a back burner, another reason I don’t feel like myself, but it was interesting, I caught myself at strange times thinking about my stories.

While loading up the truck, just The Sis and I, we would make off-handed comments about what we could get rid of or how it might feel if we lost everything. It brought me back to my pilot and how I had first become inspired to write the story.

While driving through Oregon, there was this beautiful green, lush landscape that immediately made me think of the protagonist in my fan fiction (I know!) and her journey.

I felt the compulsion to write something, anything at random times, knowing full well I didn’t have time, and regretted it.

And now here I sit.

A change of venue and little else, but a bit closer to the end result I’m hoping for. I’m back in L.A. The people I meet and interact with may be “that” person, the one that helps me become a professional writer. It’s one of the reasons we moved back, and with a little patience and endurance for the next couple of weeks ahead of us, it will hopefully all start to make sense.

So how are all of you? Any big or small news you want to inspire us with? Have a little Monday Motivation to share with the class?

((sigh)) It feels good to be back!

Happy Writing!

2Aug2022

Quote of the Week

Posted in Quotes by Rachael C Marek

I was going to try to count how many quotes I’ve shared now; take note of which topics of positivity and encouragement I’ve been peddling all these years.

There have been a lot.

I had to stop at some point because I was wasting time instead of writing.

I started the quote section of my blog because for a long time, when I came across a really good one, I would post it on my cork board above my desk. I needed inspiration, often because it wasn’t to be found elsewhere, and figured there were probably others like me, who just needed a word of encouragement to continue on their creative journey.

The quotes I choose are generally related to the way I, myself, am feeling at that particular moment. Maybe I chose one because of something I talked about with someone during the week, and sometimes, like this week’s quote, it is for a particular someone who I know needs to hear it.

The Sis has been struggling for a little while now. Her career path is unique, mentally taxing, and physically tough sometimes. It has both a number of pros and cons, but recently the negatives are starting to far outweigh the benefits. We had a conversation the other night, one in which I told her that I didn’t think she was happy, and that no job is worth that.

Day jobs take up a lot of our time. We sometimes spend more time with coworkers than our own families. So it should at least bring some measure of pleasure with it. Of course, not all of us have the luxury of changing jobs without some risk, there are a number of other factors why people stay, but if you are truly unhappy, it is something to reconsider.

I have been unhappy in most of my jobs. Why? Because none of them were what I actually wanted to do with my life. Now there’s a death bed regret. Luckily, I have someone who is supportive of my dream, and now it’s my chance to return that encouragement.

Hence a quote of the week that hopefully offers that inspiration.

I hope you have someone who supports your dreams; at least one person you want to make proud. The Sis is that for me, and after all these years, she deserves the reward that comes with that dedication. And now it’s her turn to find that dream for herself.

Need a cheerleader in your corner? You know where to find me! 😉

16Jun2022

Mid-Year Goal Check

Posted in Posts by Rachael C Marek

It’s June.

It doesn’t really feel like it, as the sun has only been out a few times this year so far. By now, in Vegas I would already be complaining about the heat, longing for cooler days, and here I am on the flip side, wishing for a day above 65 degrees.

Apparently, according to long-time PNW residents, this never-ending gloom is unusual. Like, hasn’t happened in 72 years. Didn’t they something similar last summer during the heat wave? Either way, I’m so happy we could be here to experience it. ((insert eye roll))

The lack of noticeable change in the seasons almost made me forget where we are in the year. Halfway through. Time for a check in on those annual goals.

You may recall I mentioned making them more “manageable” at some point.

Yes, this coming from the woman who wanted to watch a movie a week, read two books a month, read three screenplays a month, all while working full-time, having two dogs, writing, managing an Etsy shop, a desire to cosplay, starting a business, and so much more, in addition to all the other normal life stuff.

Yeah, hi. No wonder every year I was disappointed with my progress. I was out of control.

I decided to cut back this year, and having made it to the half way point, I am able to reflect with better clarity and rationale and say with all honesty, more attainable goals are so much more beneficial to my overall well-being.

This is something I’ve had to remind myself of, a lot – goals are just things to aspire to, not necessarily achieve. It’s a way to stay accountable. They are not meant to act as a measuring stick in order to judge the merit of our character based on whether we actually accomplished everything on our list.

*By the way, that’s all me. I’m guessing at this point, all those quotes I’ve shared have done their job.

We all want to make progress. We want some way of measuring how far we’ve come. Hence the goals. But when they are wildly out of reach when you have other responsibilities, the lack of reaching them can really hit our feelings of self-worth. That is so not the point.

Things are hard enough as it is. Why torture ourselves further?

I’m happy to report that I’ve made some of my goals. This is big for me. I’m usually eyeballing December 31st with skepticism. I know it’s judging me. I still have a lot of work ahead of me, but having achieved some smaller and some larger goals, I feel a bit more confident moving forward.

And that’s all we need sometimes. A boost to our self-esteem.

Here are a few of the goals I’m happy with so far:

My screenplay, Fate(s) is done. I will not touch it again without compensation. Pop the champagne! The troublesome child is ready to go out into the world!
I completed the first draft of my fifth feature, Projection. Gotta say, I’m pretty satisfied. A rare state.
I’m polishing up the next chapter in my fanfic series to get that off my mind. I’m sure more ideas will come knocking soon enough.
I chose to only watch two movies a month instead of one a week. I’m currently sitting at 20/24. Not too shabby.
I limited my book reading challenge, and not understanding how the library hold system works, it had been a while, ended up meeting that goal early on: 17/15.

My other goals were to get a new job (check), create a new writing space (partial check), and meet with a screenwriting coach (check). This I will cover separately.

More manageable goals are really the way to go. A feeling of accomplishment can really help the whole state of being and help on the long journey of our creative path.

How are your goals shaping up this year? Let’s celebrate our accomplishments and cheer one another on!

Happy Writing!

8Mar2022

Year One in the PNW

Posted in Posts by Rachael C Marek

A few years ago I saw this funny skit on Portlandia about how excited the patrons of the city got when the sun finally made itself known after months of gray skies.

I thought it was an exaggeration.

What I’ve learned after one year in the PNW – it was not.

from NightyBirdo

This is now my life.

I went from living in cities with incessant sun to one where it is non-existent for nearly half the year, so I have become that giddy person when I see golden light instead of shades of gray.

Ridiculous.

When people ask if I like it here, I say not really, but that’s not exactly being fair. When we arrived from our out-of-state move, it was pouring rain. Not the best welcome. But the summer was lovely, until the heat wave with no a/c. Having grown up in Las Vegas, I can do 120+ degrees, but air conditioning is everywhere so it’s oddly bearable. *LV native tip: No leather car seats.

I have been almost perpetually cold since we arrived here.

I know it’s something I have to adjust to…because I just wasn’t prepared. I do not have a rain coat or boots, but I do have an umbrella, that has never been opened, because apparently that’s a huge faux pas here.

The lack of outdoor accessibility has led to overweight dogs, and seasonal depression. Another thing I’ve learned is an actual thing.

To counter act these negatives, the people are truly nice here. The air smells clean. Nature will practically walk right up to you. For a little while in the summer, because of the northern placement, the sun stays up until 10pm which is awesome, but as you’ll recall from my note above, it disappears almost entirely during the winter as if to taunt, “I hope you enjoyed that…you’ll see it again next year!”

Washington’s nickname is the Evergreen State. This is accurate. There is an ever present layer of green on everything, and there are so. many. trees.

There is so much to do and see. There’s Mount Rainier (which you can see from all over the state), lavender fields, whale watching, vineyards, TV and movie locations, a cute Bavarian inspired town, tons of hikes and day trips, and water at every turn. There are chocolatiers and breweries, and cool eateries to try.

There’s also history here. Something I appreciate.

Some quirks: Everyone parks in backwards here. I’ve never seen so many “Student Driver” bumper stickers. It is surprisingly expensive to live here. For the entire month of May it appears as if it’s snowing from all the tree fluff in the air. The fog is like scary movie-cut it with a knife-fog. 50 degrees feels warm. For a girl from the desert, huh?! They love their Seahawks. So much so, the fans have their own designated player number, 12. There are always tree clearing crews cutting back foliage to circumvent power outages. I passed three the other day within a mile. And we appreciate it. We once went without power for nearly 15 hours. Not fun. You hear it rains a lot here. You have this unconscious awareness that it rains a lot here. It’s more than you can imagine.

Now we know we need sort of emergency situation essentials, for any season, and for both the car and home. It’s during these unexpected times that you evaluate the necessity of certain items, or even their relevancy, like I didn’t know I’d ever need a battery operated lamp that can also charge my phone. Hm.

We resigned our lease for another year, and plan on making the most of the sights to discover what makes this place so endearing. We’ve made it though the first year, and have a better understanding of what to expect, so crossing our fingers that year two will be a more enjoyable journey.

Have you ever moved where you thought you knew what to expect, but also discovered it was not what you were prepared for? I’d love to know I’m not alone in this surprising discovery.

27Jan2022

Throwback Thursday #2: The Lies We (I) Tell Ourselves (Myself)

Posted in Posts by Rachael C Marek

Writer.

It’s what I tell people I am.

Most of the time it’s true.

Even in times of writing drought, when I was embarrassed by the day job, I told people I was a writer, as if that would somehow make up for, what I considered, my professional shortcomings.

I’m not just a food server, I’m a struggling artist.

I’ll never forget the time I used an elaborate word in front of a guest and them being surprised that I knew such a word and used it properly in context. How insulting.

Saying I’m a writer is almost like a hall pass. It takes time to make it, so floundering is all just a part of the journey. Working towards that goal for a number of years is expected, but I discovered I was lying. Pretending.

Not intentionally, of course. And really only to myself.

It was a way for me to justify taking another dead end job because a “real” job would be all-consuming and take away from what I really wanted to do. It was a way to excuse the life I had found myself in. It was a way for my friends to think me brave for following my dreams after all these years.

I didn’t want it bad enough. I thought it would be easier. The story is not quite right…yet.

Those are simple lies I could tell myself, in hindsight, as to why “it” hasn’t happened yet, but they’re simply not true.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. It seems I’ve only ever gotten in my own way.

Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s laziness.

Showing up for a dream is hard.

I was searching through old posts for today’s subject matter and came across so many instances of me saying I was going to “do things different this year”. I was going to try a new strategy. Set new goals. Make my mark.

It all led to this.

I’ve had this blog for 8 years now. I can count on one hand the number of times I did something different in attempt to propel my career forward. I write about staying positive, reaching for your dreams, slaying your goals and rewarding yourself for achieving them because I wanted to create a space in which I could inspire others, as well as track my progress.

Progress…ha!

Finding myself regurgitating the same words all these years later…well, let’s just say it was rather eye opening.

If my actions are any indication as to who I am, I am mostly not a writer. But it is who I want to be.

I have wasted years not writing, but I’ve never not said I wasn’t a writer. It’s a big lie I’ve told myself, and one I will not continue to perpetuate.

One of my goals for this year was to discover what aspect of my writing to work on. I thought it might be structure or pacing.

Goodness. What sort of Pandora’s box did I open?!

Apparently, my problem is follow through. I could write all day, every day, but without an actual endgame, there is nothing to propel me forward to making writing all day, every day a reality. A contest deadline isn’t enough. There has to be more. More action. More steps forward. More accountability. More solid, actual progress.

I’ve been on a mission for months now, after that lightbulb moment, and I am proud to report that I’ve finished one story, rewritten two screenplays, and am nearly halfway through writing a new one. But now it’s time to do something about it.

This post (may) hint at my self-loathing for my ability to so long not go after my dream, despite all the quotes to the contrary, but it is the kick in the pants I need to get myself off this merry-go-round. Why would you want to keep reading about my journey if I don’t have one?

I want to throw my fist in the air and say “That all changes today!”, but it physically can’t, there are steps that have to be taken, but I am taking a first step in that direction soon.

A story for another day.

What lies have you told yourself that are keeping you from achieving what you want? Let’s help one another move passed them!

xx, Rach

17Jan2022

Quote Monday

Posted in Posts, Quotes by Rachael C Marek

I like to share a bit of inspiration at the beginning of the week, but for me and some of you who work a non-traditional work week, it’s like my Thursday.

I suppose the inspiration helps to get me to my weekend, when I can finally decompress and be productive in the ways that truly matter.

This week’s quote is to help us writers with our confidence. Something I know I struggle with. We’re a strange breed. We spend hours beyond counting in solitude, consumed by self-doubt and without any encouragement for years, and then, at some point, are forced to pull a 180 in order to face the world in an effort to become “professional”.

And people wonder why so many writers are unstable. 😉

We already have to be so many different people for our art – the writer, the editor, the audience, the hero, the villain – and then we have to alter ourselves to make it happen by being confident.

Okay.

It’s easy to be confident while I write. I take on the persona of my characters, the ones who are willing to do anything to achieve their goals, who go on big adventures, and do great things. I put myself in their shoes and walk into rooms as if I own them.

In the real world, not so much.

It’s hard to be confident when we’re unsure of the outcome. When we’re new. When we’re in a room with people higher on the ladder with much more sway. Or all the sway. But this is not so much about the physicality of the situation, but instead about shifting our mentality.

We have to be secure in what we’ve done and what we’re ready to put out in the world.

Easier said than done, I know.

Like any new skill, it takes time and practice aka patience.

One way I think of obtaining said “confidence” is knowing what we want for ourselves – our measure of success.

What needs to happen for you to count yourself as successful? There will always be disappointments, but what will give you satisfaction?

I’ve long dreamt of winning an Oscar. I mean, c’mon. How cool would that be? But does the possibility of never winning one diminish my drive? Nope. It’s a big reach, and a political gambit, apparently, so I don’t place my measure of success on having that gold statuette on my mantle. But I do have my dress picked out, just in case. Think of this, Stephen Hawking never won a Nobel, so…you know, perspective.

I also believe that as we continue to meet and exceed our goals, that helps to build our confidence as well. So as we look forward to a new year and the associated objectives we wish to accomplish, tackle those small tasks that lead to bigger ones (and then tackle those too) and reward yourself each step of the way.

Be brave, my fellow writers. Be confident. And Happy Writing!