This is one of those quotes that when you read it, and let it sink in for a minute, you think, “Wow. Reality check.”
There’s a strange security in the unknown. If you never attempt the “thing”, then you have this false sense, a suspended belief that everything is just fine. There’s no rejection, nothing to rebound from. We can continue on in the delusion.
It’s not me. It’s them.
It’s when we take a chance, and put ourselves out there we take the risk.
And that’s scary.
What if everything we’ve hoped for, worked for, dreamed of is not possible?
But what if it is?
That’s scary too. For a whole slew of other reasons.
Tired of the unknown, I took the first step this week. I quit the day job. It was like a weight was lifted immediately. There is now light at the end of the tunnel. There is possibility. There is also now a freedom to make the next job work better with my goals.
So now I can turn my attention to finding out if my writing has the merit to get me to the dream job, because not knowing is growing tiresome. I’m taking the second step this week. An evaluation to learn what may need attention.
Wish me luck.
Is there something you’ve been afraid to try for fear of disappointment? Are you ready to stop wondering? Share your thoughts below and let’s commiserate.
I wish you the best of luck and the courage to face what comes next!
Ah, you know me. Whatever grabs my attention becomes the week’s Writing Prompt. This week I was intrigued by the idea of hands, and all they are capable of.
Hands can bring comfort and pleasure. They reach out in desperation or to protect. They can inflict harm and reveal menace. We can convey a number of wordless meanings with them, or use them to emphasize that which is being said. We use them for everything.
So are you up for using them as part of this week’s Writing Prompt Challenge? I hope this offers you a little inspiration for a free write, a bit of flash fiction, or maybe an opportunity to add to your own work.
I’ve probably shared this one before, actually, I can guarantee that I have, but this is one of those quotes that I need to read again from time to time.
I’m about ready to quit my current job*, and The Sis and I were talking about what else I’d like to do. We currently share one car, which has made some things difficult, such as, being home bound on our days off, which are opposite of each other so we can share the car, so we don’t see the sights, we don’t do anything together, days go by and we barely see each other…it’s not really a way to live. She suggested, perhaps, that we get another car, so I could take a job anywhere, and my response was, “I don’t want just another job. I want my job. To be a writer.”
And she was like, “Okay. Let’s make that happen.”
I think that the more often I voice this desire aloud, the better. It helps to keep the fire burning.
And yes, some of you may say, “Well, you’re already a writer.” And yes, you’d be correct. But I want it to be my work. It’s how I want to spend my day. I’m tired of scraping minutes together between everything else in the hopes I’ll get a line written.
At some point, we want to be able to focus on the things that matter, whatever they may be. We want to stop being twisted and turned to fit inside a box that has no bearing on our lives or in the grand scheme of things. I think we all want to have a sense of pride, and fulfillment of purpose.
That is my wish for all of us.
So stay strong! Keep working towards that dream! And let’s do our best to grin and bear it through the mundane until we are where we want to be.
*I have to take another meaningless job in the meantime, it’s just that I’d like to get out of the house for more than just a piddly paycheck, so I’m finding something I can walk to. And also, I’ve been in physical therapy for about a month as the nature of the job is causing injury, so there’s that.
I had my first conversation with one of the screenwriting coaches I wanted to meet with and I found myself saying things that I didn’t expect.
For as positive as I want to be, being honest with myself about my goals, my hopes, and my fears, left me feeling a bit unnerved. Until recently, I had been afraid to chase my dream, but now I’ve done a 180 and don’t want to waste any more time. After saying this phrase a few times, Lucy, my potential new coach, said I hadn’t been wasting time but living my life.
If only she knew.
If the state of the world is any indication at how precarious it all is, then we need to take advantage of the moment.
We have to silence the inner demons, squash the dark side of ourselves, and believe we are capable of achieving whatever goals we have set. I always think, there are so many people doing what I want, so why can’t I? They stepped up. They believed in themselves. It’s time I did the same.
Finish the project. Get it out into the world. See what happens. And no matter the result…try again. Repeat until desired result achieved. 😉
How do you build self-confidence? Share your tips or advice below and let’s encourage one another!
A few years ago I saw this funny skit on Portlandia about how excited the patrons of the city got when the sun finally made itself known after months of gray skies.
I thought it was an exaggeration.
What I’ve learned after one year in the PNW – it was not.
This is now my life.
I went from living in cities with incessant sun to one where it is non-existent for nearly half the year, so I have become that giddy person when I see golden light instead of shades of gray.
When people ask if I like it here, I say not really, but that’s not exactly being fair. When we arrived from our out-of-state move, it was pouring rain. Not the best welcome. But the summer was lovely, until the heat wave with no a/c. Having grown up in Las Vegas, I can do 120+ degrees, but air conditioning is everywhere so it’s oddly bearable. *LV native tip: No leather car seats.
I have been almost perpetually cold since we arrived here.
I know it’s something I have to adjust to…because I just wasn’t prepared. I do not have a rain coat or boots, but I do have an umbrella, that has never been opened, because apparently that’s a huge faux pas here.
The lack of outdoor accessibility has led to overweight dogs, and seasonal depression. Another thing I’ve learned is an actual thing.
To counter act these negatives, the people are truly nice here. The air smells clean. Nature will practically walk right up to you. For a little while in the summer, because of the northern placement, the sun stays up until 10pm which is awesome, but as you’ll recall from my note above, it disappears almost entirely during the winter as if to taunt, “I hope you enjoyed that…you’ll see it again next year!”
Washington’s nickname is the Evergreen State. This is accurate. There is an ever present layer of green on everything, and there are so. many. trees.
There is so much to do and see. There’s Mount Rainier (which you can see from all over the state), lavender fields, whale watching, vineyards, TV and movie locations, a cute Bavarian inspired town, tons of hikes and day trips, and water at every turn. There are chocolatiers and breweries, and cool eateries to try.
There’s also history here. Something I appreciate.
Some quirks: Everyone parks in backwards here. I’ve never seen so many “Student Driver” bumper stickers. It is surprisingly expensive to live here. For the entire month of May it appears as if it’s snowing from all the tree fluff in the air. The fog is like scary movie-cut it with a knife-fog. 50 degrees feels warm. For a girl from the desert, huh?! They love their Seahawks. So much so, the fans have their own designated player number, 12. There are always tree clearing crews cutting back foliage to circumvent power outages. I passed three the other day within a mile. And we appreciate it. We once went without power for nearly 15 hours. Not fun. You hear it rains a lot here. You have this unconscious awareness that it rains a lot here. It’s more than you can imagine.
Now we know we need sort of emergency situation essentials, for any season, and for both the car and home. It’s during these unexpected times that you evaluate the necessity of certain items, or even their relevancy, like I didn’t know I’d ever need a battery operated lamp that can also charge my phone. Hm.
We resigned our lease for another year, and plan on making the most of the sights to discover what makes this place so endearing. We’ve made it though the first year, and have a better understanding of what to expect, so crossing our fingers that year two will be a more enjoyable journey.
Have you ever moved where you thought you knew what to expect, but also discovered it was not what you were prepared for? I’d love to know I’m not alone in this surprising discovery.
We all remember during lockdown and the US presidential election, how so many of us struggled, while others flourished. There was an outpouring of creativity and community and I was in awe of what could be done when given the chance. I was not one of those people. I was in the first group.
I was not creative. I barely wrote. I couldn’t watch anything “heavy”; there were a lot of bad movies viewed. I developed anxiety.
It was a strange time.
It was the year that will go down in infamy – 2020.
We couldn’t wait for it to go away. So many of us looked to 2021 as a magic reset button.
It was not.
I was determined to make 2022 different. With the new year and new goals, I decided to stop wasting my TV viewing time on things I’ve watched a dozen times over. I would watch those “must see” movies and shows in my genre. I would read the books I “should have” read. I would read more screenplays because you know, that’s what I want to do in life.
I had a new perspective and I wanted to make an impact.
Then, when things felt like they might be getting better, ever so slightly, a megalomaniac chose that moment to make things that much worse.
It’s easy to use TV, movies, and video games as a means of escapism in a world turned on its side. It’s easy to rationalize it all as research when you’re a creative.
It’s a little column A, a little column B.
So, despite the current situation, I thought I’d share the 3 shows I’ve watched so far that I’ve enjoyed if you’re in need of a little escape (or research 😉 ). They’re all available on Netflix.
Arcane – By far the best show I’ve watched in some time. The animation is beautiful, the characters are all intriguing, and the world is unique. Considering it took 6 years to make the first season, I’m guessing it will be a long wait for season 2, but it will be worth it.
The Witcher Season 2 – I am a big fan of the third installment in the video game series – I even wrote a review about it – so I was always going to watch the show. While season 1 was a little convoluted and hard to follow if you weren’t familiar with the material, they did a great job with the second season.
Shadow and Bone – This series kept being suggested to me, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had not read the books, or even heard of them beforehand. I have since read the first novel. Don’t waste your time, just watch the show. It’s a magical land, actually, they don’t call it magic, and there are some fun characters, and it was better than I thought it would be.
I’ve started a few other shows and if anything else resonates, I’ll be sure to pass it along.
Do you have any shows or movies to recommend? What shouldn’t be missed?
In the free photo gallery available via WordPress, the search bar already comes with a suggested term and subsequent photos to give you an idea of the variety of images available. “Patterns” was the suggested term – that’s a bit on the nose, Universe, but I hear you – and this breathtaking image was among them.
If you need a break from your own writing and are looking for a bit of inspiration for a free write or some flash fiction, I hope this imagery brings about a spark of creativity.
After the big revelation in my last post, I needed a couple of weeks to recuperate.
Anything I wanted to say in the aftermath was tinged with bitterness.
I couldn’t look at, let alone think about posting another positivity quote. It felt false. Still sort of does.
I needed space. And to get my head on straight.
I’m not sure if I’ve shared this quote before, but it feels like the right choice at the moment. There are a great many things out of our control, but on the flip side, there are so many things we do have control over, and making a choice, coming to a conclusion, one simple action can lead you on the path towards better things.
Taking my own advice, I’ve made some decisions on how I will pursue my goal of becoming a professional screenwriter.
And I’m going to put it out into the universe in an effort to manifest it, and keep myself accountable.
After a polish on the screenplay, I am going to employ the services of a screenwriting coach. I’m going to face the music, face any hard truths, and come out on the other side with a plan.
It’s the one decision I hope will lead me to where I want to be.
What’s a decision you’ve been wanting to make, but haven’t yet, but are ready to?
Here’s to taking chances! I wish you all the best!
Even in times of writing drought, when I was embarrassed by the day job, I told people I was a writer, as if that would somehow make up for, what I considered, my professional shortcomings.
I’m not just a food server, I’m a struggling artist.
I’ll never forget the time I used an elaborate word in front of a guest and them being surprised that I knew such a word and used it properly in context. How insulting.
Saying I’m a writer is almost like a hall pass. It takes time to make it, so floundering is all just a part of the journey. Working towards that goal for a number of years is expected, but I discovered I was lying. Pretending.
Not intentionally, of course. And really only to myself.
It was a way for me to justify taking another dead end job because a “real” job would be all-consuming and take away from what I really wanted to do. It was a way to excuse the life I had found myself in. It was a way for my friends to think me brave for following my dreams after all these years.
I didn’t want it bad enough. I thought it would be easier. The story is not quite right…yet.
Those are simple lies I could tell myself, in hindsight, as to why “it” hasn’t happened yet, but they’re simply not true.
I’ve always wanted to be a writer. It seems I’ve only ever gotten in my own way.
Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s laziness.
Showing up for a dream is hard.
I was searching through old posts for today’s subject matter and came across so many instances of me saying I was going to “do things different this year”. I was going to try a new strategy. Set new goals. Make my mark.
It all led to this.
I’ve had this blog for 8 years now. I can count on one hand the number of times I did something different in attempt to propel my career forward. I write about staying positive, reaching for your dreams, slaying your goals and rewarding yourself for achieving them because I wanted to create a space in which I could inspire others, as well as track my progress.
Finding myself regurgitating the same words all these years later…well, let’s just say it was rather eye opening.
If my actions are any indication as to who I am, I am mostly not a writer. But it is who I want to be.
I have wasted years not writing, but I’ve never not said I wasn’t a writer. It’s a big lie I’ve told myself, and one I will not continue to perpetuate.
One of my goals for this year was to discover what aspect of my writing to work on. I thought it might be structure or pacing.
Goodness. What sort of Pandora’s box did I open?!
Apparently, my problem is follow through. I could write all day, every day, but without an actual endgame, there is nothing to propel me forward to making writing all day, every day a reality. A contest deadline isn’t enough. There has to be more. More action. More steps forward. More accountability. More solid, actual progress.
I’ve been on a mission for months now, after that lightbulb moment, and I am proud to report that I’ve finished one story, rewritten two screenplays, and am nearly halfway through writing a new one. But now it’s time to do something about it.
This post (may) hint at my self-loathing for my ability to so long not go after my dream, despite all the quotes to the contrary, but it is the kick in the pants I need to get myself off this merry-go-round. Why would you want to keep reading about my journey if I don’t have one?
I want to throw my fist in the air and say “That all changes today!”, but it physically can’t, there are steps that have to be taken, but I am taking a first step in that direction soon.
A story for another day.
What lies have you told yourself that are keeping you from achieving what you want? Let’s help one another move passed them!