Quote Monday

This week’s Quote Monday is more an interesting tidbit that we, as writers, can all understand. I enjoy meeting other writers and being part of a community of interesting, creative, unique individuals who see the world differently. Only another writer can understand the struggle, the isolation, the never-ending pull to create, and the strange idea that our characters tell us what they want.

I recently shared with a writer’s group how two of my characters had a mind of their own and continued to put themselves into a situation I didn’t want them in, yet. Obviously, I have control over it all, and yet, it was something they clearly wanted to do. I love when characters take control, but only another writer truly understands what this means. So when I saw this quote from Mr. King, which sums it up perfectly, I thought I’d share.

Since the release of my pup health scare related stress, I got my flow back and have been consumed with all the stories that require my attention – a much better stress to have.

So here’s to a productive week! Happy Writing!

Pup Update: Sterile Panniculitis

It started with a puffy face around 2pm on a Wednesday. This was something we had encountered before, an allergic reaction of some sort, so we immediately gave him Benadryl. Some time passes and hives begin to appear along his back. A little more Benadryl.

This continues through the night, and concern keeps us awake until about 4am, when we can’t take it any more because the welts are huge, especially on his tiny body, and we find an emergency vet who will give him a steroid shot to speed up the healing process.

We are told that it could take up to 48hrs to see any result, and so we wait the allotted time, which runs us into the weekend when we can’t take him to another vet, and the hives continue. Five days of Benadryl and watching hives flare up and work their way through his body.

Then new things begin to form.

Thinking he may be fighting off an infection, (what we think is) a gland in his neck becomes swollen almost overnight to about the size and feel of a marble. More cause for concern, but it doesn’t seem to bother him.

We finally get him into the vet and tests begin.

Things happen on a weekly basis, usually on the weekend when we can stress without resolution. Red bumps appear above his eye, on his chin, on the underside of his tail. His inner ears are inflamed. We find out later there are blood blisters and he gets a cone to hinder scratching. He develops a rash in the groin area that feels solid underneath. A spot on his nose develops and, in a terribly descriptive phrase, appears necrotic. Probably made worse because it’s accessible to licking.

And worst of all, as if that’s possible, a consistent breathing issue called a “reverse sneeze” started. It is something we’ve encountered in the past, it was rare, usually from overexcitement, and it is worrying the first few times you hear it, but this was different. It lasted longer, and looked like he was having difficulty breathing.

Immediately back to the vet. More tests. Medications that make him into a little zombie. He has no energy, no appetite, and just wants to be held or sleep. I did not care for that. He looks pathetic and it makes our hearts hurt.

The “C” word is tossed around and the thought makes me sick.

Finally…biopsies. More waiting and rushing test results because it’s been over three weeks and what is going on with him?! He’s given new antibiotics and he doesn’t have to take the zombie-inducing meds anymore, and when he comes home from undergoing surgery, he’s almost immediately back to normal.

He runs around a bit and has an appetite. It was like he had turned a corner.

Within a few days, our wonderful vet calls with resolution. The biopsy results narrow down that he has a rare inflammatory disease known as Sterile Panniculitis. It’s so rare that she’s only seen it once in seven years.

That’s our special boy for you.

He will have to undergo at least a couple more tests to determine the source, if there is one, because apparently this type of disease can just appear. Dachshunds are fairly susceptible to it, it’s hereditary, and although his sister looks more like a little sausage, clearly the Doxie is strong in him.

The Sis, now armed with a name, goes into research mode and into a long conversation with our vet. It comes down to an autoimmune issue. From this point forward, he will no longer be able to receive any vaccinations and can’t be exposed to any situations that might increase his potential for disease.

He’s basically a bubble boy.

His sister is fine, thankfully, and she will need to be kept fully vaccinated for not only her well being but his as well. Such a strange turn of events. I mean, The Sis and I already enjoy our solitude and were pretty socially distanced, even before the pandemic, but this gives us further cause. Oh, how we enjoy being loners.

There was a precursor that we should have paid more attention to but didn’t understand.

When we moved into our new apartment, there was the traditional “marking of their territory” but Loki continued well after. We couldn’t figure out what had happened to cause him to continue having accidents. Maybe he was annoyed that we had moved and his situation had changed. We thought he might be pouting. Because of their size, we’ve always left a pad accessible, and we were taking them outside often, and yet he would come inside and do his business.

This sort of act is actually a warning sign, and a way for them to communicate something is wrong. We learned this a little too late because had we known, maybe we could have had him looked at sooner, circumventing some of his discomfort and prolonging the treatment.

I thought this was an important detail to share. If your dog is doing something out of the ordinary, there may be an underlying reason.

So he’s been sick since we moved. Really reconsidering this whole thing now.

I wanted to share this story because if there’s more information available, maybe it will help other pet parents. As we learn more details, I’ll share an update because…

Quote of the Week

In my last post I mentioned a sick pup. Something in our move to Washington State triggered an illness in him that has taken us nearly four weeks to resolve, and we’ve been here six. We were truly reconsidering the move at one point. I’ll write a separate post about this experience as he was diagnosed with something rare and other pet parents should be informed.

During these stressful weeks, our focus was only on him. What could we do for him? How could we make him more comfortable? It was hard to concentrate on anything else.

I am thankful for the job opportunity I’ve been given, but as his medical bills continue to rise, I’m already considering a change to cover the expenses. I couldn’t write, couldn’t read, didn’t have the attention span to watch anything with any sort of vested interest. All we could do was hold him and comfort him and wait for the vet to share with us the results of all the tests.

It has been hard to be positive.

Since the move my stress level has increased…beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before – and maybe it has because, in part, yoga has been relegated to the back burner for a while now. What did I do before I discovered yoga?

Being positive is a choice, but when life gets messy, it’s harder sometimes to remain so. When I saw this quote, which I saved weeks ago, I thought, “I need to change my perspective, but I can’t until I know my furkid is okay.” It’s not that I wasn’t “positive”, I had to be in order to reassure myself and The Sis that he would recover, it’s just that it was harder to find other things to be thankful for.

Hence the quote.

Sometimes we just need to get through the day and finding a moment, a silver lining makes all the difference. Maybe it’s something as simple as “you have your health” because right now, that’s actually a pretty big something. Maybe it’s that you have a job because, again, right now, that’s also a big something. Maybe they’re more personal or related to your writing, like you worked out that plot hole or you finished writing that difficult chapter. You started yoga again and are feeling better. As you start to consider the different aspects of your life, you’ll probably find a number of things to be positive about and those add up.

The world is (still) a mess, and those outside influences can definitely affect our outlook, so finding a thread of positivity is a necessity to keeping our sanity. Journaling is a great way to keep track of these, and if you’ve been struggling, I highly recommend trying it. A number of journaling prompts offer this specific practice, “what are you thankful for today”, to maintain a positive attitude and it’s an easy reference tool for when you’re feeling low.

And as writers, we’re often in our own worlds, struggling differently, often quietly. Knowing there are others, like us, out there can help lessen the burden, so if you have any tips for maintaining your positivity, please share them below and let’s help one another!

Take care! xx, Rach

Thank You!

I hit a milestone this week.

For a writer who didn’t know what to expect when she decided to share her ramblings with the outside world, this was a wonderful surprise.

I’ve had a lot of gaps in my postings – consumed by work, a lack of inspiration (especially during Covid), various stresses, and most recently a sick pup – and so many of you have stuck with me through it all, so Thank You!

To my new followers, “Hi! Welcome!

One of my goals this year is to be better in this space, and having this many people to share it with is beyond encouraging, and I appreciate the support. Now that our furkid is on the mend, I can shift my focus, and I look forward to spending more time here with all of you.

Happy Friday and Happy Writing!

Quote Monday

Hello from Washington!

It’s official. The Sis and I are now residents of the Evergreen State. For my own bad memory, I’ll post an overview of our journey to get here and that’s why this week’s quote struck me, in particular, as it’s about being brave.

I deeply struggled (for some time) with the decision to move. We weren’t happy in Las Vegas, the reason we had returned had run its course, but even thinking about taking the first step towards change left me with an anxiety I have not encountered before, and it made me wonder if growing older was making me more wary of taking risks.

Or was there something else?

I still haven’t discovered the truth of it but now we’re settled in our new place and I have to wonder what all the hoopla was about? Why was I afraid?

Our lives were put on hold for nearly a year, thanks, in part to Covid, but also because we kept delaying the move, thanks, in part to Covid. We couldn’t make a decision and by the end of the year I was so antsy I couldn’t take much more. I struggled to read, barely wrote a word, and just felt like I was in some sort of purgatory. Time is precious, something I’m definitely aware of, and yet I wasted and lost so much of it last year just waiting for change. A change I was fearful to make.

Huh?!

What I realized through all of this is I talk a big game. I talk about being brave and following your dreams, and while I did eventually make it happen, I let the fear consume and rule me for much longer than it ever should have. We get comfortable in what we know, regardless of its negative effects. Change is scary. It’s the unknown.

The possibility of new beginnings and new adventures should outweigh the reluctance at taking advantage of those opportunities. So take it from me, embrace the excitement that comes from change. Don’t dwell on the uncertainties because as they say, “the only constant is change” and the worry will wreak havoc with your mental and physical well-being.

If you’re wavering on the precipice of your own new endeavor and need a reassuring word, feel free to drop me a line.

xx, Rach

The 5 Things I Learned About Myself by Journaling (nearly) Everyday in Just a Month

JounalI joined the site Medium last year after coming across a number of articles linked to it.  It’s free to use if you only read about 3 articles a month.  I was finding so many that I had a back log of nearly 75 saved articles.  Knowing I would never have a chance to read them all at that rate, I joined.

Feeling at a crossroads with a big-number-impending-birthday (yes, it’s that time of year again), I was looking at articles related to self-help, following your passion, goal setting, keeping momentum and focus, etc. and I read a number of articles about journaling.  Growing up, I had friends who kept diaries.  I was not one of them.  It’s just never worked for me to remain consistent, but after seeing how people were discovering things about themselves through this process, I decided to give it a try.

A real try.

I started mid-December and wrote everyday, almost, for a month.  I decided not to review anything I had written during that time, to see what would repeat.  I wanted to learn if there were areas in my life that were seeking attention and needed it.  Then we took a mini break to California, so nothing happened for about a week.  When we returned home, I decided to look back on what I had written to look for patterns.  Here’s what I discovered about myself.

  1. My writing is important to me and I have a lot of things I want to accomplish.  When I quit my job at the end of November, a panic set in about our next steps.  Were we ready to move overseas?  How could we do it?  Where would we live?  What about our pups?  What about all our stuff?  I created an Etsy store after weeks of research and narrowed down our possible move, but all of it was so consuming I couldn’t write.  But being away from it for a couple of months gives me anxiety as well, so it was enlightening to learn how important it is to my life.
  2. This lead to a new idea.  I want to obtain my Master’s Degree.  In my research for the move, a student visa was one easy way in.  I started looking at schools with film and screenwriting programs, and I got excited at the prospect.  I wasn’t a great student the first time around but I enjoy learning new things now, so I’m interested in pursuing this further.
  3. But one thing that did keep coming up was my lack of focus or motivation.  I go on binges and then lose steam.  I know this has been an issue, but finding it written down, repeatedly, made it more relevant.  At this point in my life, I either need to do it or move on.  This half-assing nonsense must come to an end.
  4. I need therapy.  I had a turbulent childhood – an alcoholic abusive step-father, for one.  While on our mini break, we watched old home movies and I realized that my faulty memory is most likely due to self-preservation.  There are enormous chunks of my childhood and even teen years that are complete blanks.  Watching myself on the videos was like watching someone else.  There is nearly no connection to anything we watched.  That was a startling discovery.
  5. I want to buy a home.  The Sis and I have been renting for about 13 years now and I’m tired of it.  For a couple of years now, maybe it’s because I’m in my 40s, I’ve wanted to “settle down”.  I want to paint my walls and grow a garden.  I want to pull up the crappy carpet and put in a farmhouse sink.  I want to stop hoarding Amazon boxes like a doomsday-prepper and not feel like we’re always in limbo.  It’s hard to start things if you’re always thinking about the next move.  I haven’t bought things, like a dining room table because I don’t want to move it.  Kitchen appliances are on hold because I don’t want to move it.  A new dresser…because I don’t want to move it.  This has been our life for a long time and I’m over it.  Such a simple thing, and yet the tendrils associated with it are long reaching.

This is just in one month.

I’ve continued on in the same vein, I’m not reading what I’ve written this past month.  With my 45th birthday just having passed, I felt like these weighty issues were becoming amplified at my own displeasure for not making more out of my life at this point.  I was feeling a writer’s mid-life crisis looming, but because I’ve articulated so many things that have been bothering me through journaling, I have a better path laid out before me to make some changes.

A random discovery from such a simple act.  Thank you to all those writers who shared the positive impact journaling can have on your life!

Do you journal?  How has it helped you?

Welcome to 2020

20202Happy New Year, friends!

Can you believe it?  Not only has another year ended, but we’re now in a new decade.  I’m still of the mindset that the 90s were the last decade because to think otherwise is just ridiculous.  How could it be, now, 20+ years ago?!

I tend to bring in the new year doing the one thing I hope to be doing the rest of it, writing, but I’ll come clean, I haven’t been able to write since quitting my job.  I, instead chose to spend it with one of my favorite people, Jane Austen.  I completed my “One New Movie-a-Week” Challenge last week with Rise of the Skywalker, but I thought it might be a nice motivator to watch a movie, a world I want to be a part of, instead.  I had not seen the film Love and Friendship, based on the novella, Lady Susan, and while I’ll have more to say on it in my next post about my movie challenge, it got me thinking about my own writing.  So at least there’s that.

I nearly finished my Goodreads reading challenge of 12 books, a despicably low number, I know.  I kept seeing these posts that if you want to be a writer and don’t make the time to read you can’t really be a writer.  I was a much better reader a few years ago when my schedule permitted me to do things in a particular order.  Now, I’m trying to implement that old schedule into my new daily routine.  When I realized the end of the year was nigh and I wasn’t going to make my goal, I had to reevaluate a few things.

In that reevaluation was the thought that maybe I had set myself up for failure by expecting too much of myself throughout the year.  I already knew the job was not allowing me to accomplish much, so achieving some of those goals was always going to be difficult, if not impossible.  While I did complete a few of the tasks I had set out to do, like attending my first screenwriter’s conference, others, like the reading challenge, fell by the wayside.  How could I possibly expect so much when days, weeks, and even months passed without a glance towards my passions?

I have to look at this year’s goal setting a bit differently.  Remember, I don’t like resolutions, and I don’t think January 1st is a magic reset button, but it is an unavoidable marker for moving forward and starting anew.  The outside world has dates and seasons for meeting goals, and a new year puts much of that into perspective.  But there are things that I continue to carry over each year that I want to do that, while time consuming, are still worthy goals to pursue.  It’s just going to take some patience and clever maneuvering, and not be at the forefront while more pressing matters are attended to.

What do you want to accomplish this year?  How will you set out to ensure you reach that goal?

set and reach goal concept

Here’s one of my favorite goal setting images for inspiration.  Now let’s go crush 2020!

The Benefits of the Whole30 “Diet”

Whole30 imageThis is not the kind of post I would typically write about, but as part of “The Journey”, it felt like something I needed to talk about.

Writers have a bad rap of being alcoholic-lazy-caffeine addled-bad eating habit having-delusionals.  I, personally, am only two of those things.  I’ll let you wonder which two.

I didn’t personally need to put myself in the challenge.  When I became vegetarian, it was easy for me to discover the foods that didn’t agree with me.  Example – I learned I was lactose intolerant.  But I did need to change my habits.

We gave this challenge a shot because The Sis had been suffering from stomach problems, and we wanted to determine for ourselves the culprit before heading to a doctor.

If you’re unfamiliar with Whole30, it’s not one of the fad diets making the rounds, it’s actually a way of eliminating the foods that have adverse effects on your system.  Not only with stomach aches, but fatigue, skin problems, body pains, and a number of other ailments.

So we started by buying the book about two weeks in advance.  It was fairly inexpensive on Amazon ($16).  You may be able to get it at the library, I’m not sure, but we wanted to be able to keep the recipes and continue to reference it.  Then came the purge.

Whole30Rules

Sugar is one of the biggest offenders, and you’ll soon discover that it is in everything, so the removal of it does have positive side effects.  One of them being weight loss.  Unlike some of the other plans floating around, you can still eat fruit.  It took some time to prep for this new way of eating, so removing things from sight and weening off of the non-compliant foods began about a week out.  I didn’t want a shock to the system when we could no longer enjoy sweetener in our tea or coffee, or had to give up bread and goodies.

Let me start by saying one thing.  This is a rather time consuming process.  Many of the recipes only make enough food for one meal for two.  So there is a great deal of cooking involved.  If you find a dish you enjoy, double it in the future to save time.  Make a few things in advance and freeze portions to save yourself some stress when you realize you don’t have time to cook, yet again.

I am by no means exaggerating.  There is a lot of cooking involved.

It is also a bit costly at the start, but when you consider that you’re making food at home, that you can stretch into multiple meals versus eating out many times a week, that really isn’t a drawback.

The book is great at explaining the phases of physical and emotional highs and lows you’ll endure over the thirty days.  It even describes the dreams you may have because of the fear you will eat sugar unknowingly and have to start all over.  The Sis had a few of these dreams.  For my fellow vegetarians, you will not experience the full benefits of the “diet” as seitan and soy are staples for us as a source of protein, but for meat eaters in the challenge, they are both non-compliant.

The positive side effects of this challenge are the variety of new recipes you’ll discover.  Pinterest is great at finding even more.  Shocker, I got in a Pinterest reference.  You won’t need to snack, not really, because you’re eating 3 complete meals a day.  If I was peckish, I’d eat some walnuts or pistachios.  It makes you look at food differently, and the improvements are quickly obvious.  Even more so if you work out.  We did not.  So without that added benefit, The Sis lost about 14 lbs. and I lost 10 lbs.

We’re now at the end of the reintroduction phase.  After thirty days, you slowly introduce the big offenders back into your diet to analyze how they effect you for the following 10 days.  One day you have grains, or dairy, or gluten then go back to the Whole30 for the following two days.  This gives you time to see how you react.  My reintroduction was shorter because I was already having both gluten and soy products.

I’m going to continue to limit my exposure to sugar, in particular.  One thing I realized was that after quitting my job, I no longer had the desire to drink alcohol.  I was only having a drink or two a night at most, but it had become a coping mechanism and that is a horrible discovery.  It was also one of the major contributors to my weight gain and hence the removal increased its loss.  I don’t need sugar in my morning tea anymore, and I’m not compelled to seek sweets out like I once did, although I am having a hankering for some junk food now that the 40+ days has come to an end.  Oh, pizza.  How I’ve missed you.

Side note, if you’re a Costco or similar warehouse member you can buy bulk spinach, fruit and veggies, avocado oil, coconut milk, almond butter, coconut aminos (a soy sauce alternative) and a few other items there, which will help offset some costs.  I even found ghee, a clarified butter which is Whole30 compliant at a better price.  I also discovered, as a lactose intolerant, that I’m okay with ghee.

If you’re interested in trying Whole30 for yourself, here are a handful of our favorite recipes beyond the cookbook to get you started.

  1. For breakfast, we enjoyed a Pumpkin Bake.  Easy to make and a delicious alternative to eggs every morning.  I’ve made it every week, and it hasn’t bored me.
  2. Egg Roll in a Bowl was another easy and delicious meal.  Mayo has sugar, so you will have to make your own for the topping, but it is worth it.  We used avocado oil for our mayo versus olive oil which has a much more distinct flavor.  Made it twice, and the second time doubled it.
  3. The Mexican Crispy Potato Bowl was a surprise hit late in the 30 days.  It sounded simple, but it was flavorful and I’ve since made it again.
  4. Chinese Pepper Steak was one of the first dishes we made and I’m planning on making it again.
  5. If you’re missing your end of the night treat, aka dessert, this 3 item sweet will help you stave off your sugar demon.  Coconut Cashew Bars are easy, last for some time in the fridge, and go well with fruit.

If you’re considering Whole30 and need support, tips, other recipe recommendations, or how to make it more vegetarian friendly, please let me know and good luck!  It seems a bit overwhelming initially but it’s really not difficult and you’ll reap the benefits.

Quote Monday

Everyone’s posting year end reviews and goal updates, and even as I, myself, am doing some reflection, if you’ve followed me for a while, you know I don’t like resolutions, one can’t help but look back on what’s been accomplished in the course of a year.  It’s also the end of a decade, so there’s even more to think on.

While the beginning of a new year is a great jumping off point, you can start something new or achieve a goal at any time.

Start where you are quote

I’m sure I’ve used this quote before, but as The Sis and I begin to prepare for a new journey, this quote seemed rather apropos.

Happy Monday!